Everyday Imposter Syndrome
EVERYDAY IMPOSTER SYNDROME – May 16, 2024 – Rochester, Minnesota, USA
Junior high principal, Lester Bellamy, chose a science classroom for his special parents meeting. The room’s walls were covered with pictures of animals and rocks. A periodic table hung next to the whiteboard. During school days, students sat at long tables instead of desks and Principal Bellamy rearranged two of the tables in front of the room so that they faced each other. Three parents sat on one side, four on the other.
Included in the handpicked group of seven were Devon Thacker and Vance Tebbs. Each enjoyed a conversation with the principal during an athletic event or school play. They arrived at the after-school parent’s council very curious about its purpose.
Principal Bellamy sat at a small table in between the parents. He looked fit and relaxed and was known for being fun but respected by the students. The school’s office manager, Vanessa Purdy, sat next to him. She was fresh out of college and eager to please.
The principal leaned up in his chair to signal the meeting had begun. “Vanessa and I are very grateful you all came. Let me start by describing why you’re here. The school does not have a lot of discretionary money to spend, so we treat anything we do have preciously. We will be making some purchases for the next school year and want your input and advice. Sounds easy enough, right?”
The parents nodded their heads as they looked at each other. There was obvious relief on some of the faces who thought the principal was about to ask for donations.
“I don’t know you all that well, but I know you love your kids and value education,” Principal Bellamy continued. “Just so we can get more familiar with who’s in the room, how about we go around and introduce ourselves?”
The parent closest to the principal stated her name and then described her eighth-grader son. When it was their turn, the rest of the parents followed the same pattern, talking mostly about their children.
“What a great group,” the principal concluded. “How about we get down to business? Vanessa, what’s the first thing we need to decide?”
Vanessa checked the laptop in front of her. “The cameras for the photography class.”
“Right. Some of your kids may have taken Photography already,” Principal Bellamy interjected. “We like to give them hands-on experience with big cameras and want to provide as many cameras as possible. Vanessa, what’s the teacher’s recommendation?”
“She found some older model Nikon DLSRs that work well at a good price.”
“Anyone have any thoughts on this?” the principal asked.
Vance Tebbs raised his hand. “I’ve been reading up a lot on cameras actually. I wanted a nice one of my own. Everyone online said to get a mirrorless camera instead of a DLSR. They’re easily the best to learn on and to use. I’ve had mine for two weeks and I love it. I say you should definitely drop the DLSR idea and go with the mirrorless.”
Vanessa typed on the laptop as the principal said, “Sounds like you feel pretty strongly.”
“No doubt in my mind,” Vance replied.
“Okay. Anyone else have input?” Principal Bellamy looked directly at Devon Thacker.
Unknown to the other parents, but known to the principal, Devon was a professional photographer. Over the past fifteen years, he took over a million pictures of almost every kind. Weddings and family portraits. Sports and landscapes. Freelance shots for news outlets. He also used every kind of camera available. He had reached a point where he immediately found a flaw in every shot he captured.
Devon knew all the arguments about what kind of camera was best. DLSR enthusiasts had their reasons, so did the mirrorless fans. Some people swore you needed a film camera to capture true-to-life images. Everyone had good points.
Devon felt the principal’s eyes on him and knew he was supposed to share an opinion. He did not want to sound confrontational or like a know-it-all. He cleared his throat and said, “I’ve used DLSRs and mirrorless. I think both can be good for learning the fundamentals.”
“You’re saying either could work?” the principal asked.
“I think so. Depends on what you want to accomplish.”
The principal and Vanessa moved to other expenditures for books, computers, and chemistry sets. Devon listened while second guessing himself about the cameras. He wondered whether he should have been more definitive or if he missed something. Maybe the newest mirrorless cameras were far superior and he was simply ignorant.
The discussion turned to exercise equipment. Vanessa explained that the P.E. teacher recommended buying new nets and balls for volleyball, new bats and gloves for softball, and flags and cones for flag football. Devon now felt like he had something he could say with conviction.
“I’ve been learning a lot about exercise for myself lately. I’ve been doing these high-intensity routines that take only eight minutes at a time. I use a medicine ball. It’s the best workout you’ve ever seen. These P.E. classes need to teach kids how to exercise for life. Put the money toward medicine balls if the school doesn’t already have them.
“Medicine balls, huh? You’re pretty convinced?” the principal asked.
“Absolutely!” Devon answered confidently.
The principal turned and stared directly at Vance who had earlier advocated for mirrorless cameras. Only the principal knew that Vance was a physical therapist and should surely have an opinion about exercise equipment. “Anyone else have ideas?” Principal Bellamy prompted.
Vance had read a lot about high intensity workouts. He conducted his own studies on lower intensity workouts and the benefits of cardio versus weightlifting. After treating and training hundreds of people, he concluded each kind of exercise had its benefits. Each person responded differently to specific types of training. At some stages in their life, they might need high intensity cardio and at other times more walking and stretching.
Vance was reluctant to discount what Devon said about medicine balls. In some ways Devon was right, although it was only a part of the story. It was also possible that Devon had discovered a revolutionary technique.
Vance fidgeted under the principal’s stare before saying, “You know, I think high intensity stuff is good. It can also be good to give kids lots of variety. Some of them might like team sports more than exercise routines. I think getting them moving is what’s most important. Maybe you could spend money on all the possibilities.”
Principal Bellamy looked a bit dissatisfied with Vance’s vague answer, but he moved on to other possible purchases. Vance worried he should have said something different.
The meeting wrapped up and the principal repeated his thanks to all the parents. “We can’t have a great school without you,” he concluded before shaking everyone’s hand.
All parents shuffled out of the room leaving the principal alone with Vanessa. She continued to type on her laptop to capture the opinions she heard. “Now what?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” Principal Bellamy replied with a grin.
“How do we decide what to buy? I’m especially worried about the cameras and the exercise equipment. We heard some strong opinions against what the teachers want to do.”
Mr. Bellamy nodded and slyly chuckled. “You know, we had experts on both those subjects in the room. Neither of them was the one with the strong opinion.”
“They weren’t?”
“It’s a strange phenomenon, but people often sound surer the less they know about a topic. They read one article and suddenly they think they’re an authority. But the longer they study and work at something, the more careful they are with their opinions. They’ve seen all the possibilities and want to leave room for a mistake or new information. The real experts sound less sure. It’s a kind of imposter syndrome.”
Vanessa gave Principal Bellamy a skeptical look. “That doesn’t sound right.”
“We just saw it happen.”
“Then you’re saying we shouldn’t buy the mirrorless cameras and the medicine balls?”
“No. We were always going to listen to the teachers. I trust they know how to get the most bang for the buck on supplies.”
“Then why have the meeting with the parents?”
“So they can feel involved and valued. It gives them warm fuzzy feelings they share with their friends.”
“What happens when they think we didn’t listen to them?”
“We say it’s all about the money.”
“I wish you would have told me all this before I took notes.”
“It was important they saw you typing. All part of the psychology.”
Vanessa eyed him suspiciously. “Imposter syndrome, warm fuzzy feeling. You really think you can get into people’s heads, don’t you? You think you’re a psychology expert.”
Principal Bellamy smirked. “Like everybody else, I took psychology in college, but I’m no expert. Of course, that’s exactly what I would say if I really was an expert. Remember the thing about imposter syndrome?”
“You’re making my head hurt,” Vanessa replied with an eyeroll. “Just tell me what to order.”
“Yep, I knew you were going to say that,” the principal replied with a laugh.
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