August 31, 2019 – Orlando, Florida, USA
“I guess I thought it would seem bigger when we were underneath it,” said Jason to his friend, Erik.
“It’s life-sized. And you get a pretty good idea how big it is from the movies. I mean, they have scenes with people standing next to it. Seems about right to me,” said Erik.
“They’ve definitely added a million little details,” said Jason, shielding his eyes as he looked up. “But you know they bought all the pipes and stuff from a plumbing store.”
Erik laughed in agreement. “Kind of hard to imagine this thing making the jump to light speed with a Home Depot heating duct sticking out the top.”
“And check out that hydraulic arm,” added Jason. “I swear that’s for the hatchback on a Volkswagen Golf. I didn’t know Han Solo shopped at AutoZone for parts.”
Erik and Jason both laughed before agreeing that, no matter how many everyday parts they spotted, standing under any replica of the Millennium Falcon was the only way to wait in a line. They had driven all night from Philadelphia, each taking turns behind the wheel while the other tried to sleep. They would have preferred arriving on Thursday for the official opening day of Disneyworld’s newest ride – Smugglers Run. But neither of them could justify the time off work, so they had to be satisfied with a Saturday visit after the marathon drive.
Even with a pillow, sleeping in the passenger seat of Erik’s Toyota Camry was not comfortable. He and Jason had grabbed a few unconscious hours due to pure exhaustion, but they had mostly spent the time making each other laugh with stories from their jobs. Both worked in IT, Erik for a hospital and Jason for a law firm. They loved comparing whether doctors or lawyers were bigger jerks and which group was more computer illiterate.
For months, Erik and Jason had been following news on Disney-dedicated websites about the opening for the new Star Wars section of the park. Sneak previews of the settings and props had been stellar. In the past two days, lots of people had posted online descriptions of the actual ride itself, but so far, no one had put up a video. There was still time for Erik and Jason to be heroes and post a world premiere.
The original plan was for them to arrive at the gates as soon as the park opened, but they had been slowed down by a couple of accidents as soon as they crossed the Florida state line. And weekend morning traffic in Orlando had been surprisingly heavy. A stop at a convenience store for some breakfast donuts and Monster energy drinks, meant they did not reach the Smugglers Run line until 10 am. Both friends wore Philadelphia Phillies baseball caps to hide their messy hair.
“When George Lucas was writing Star Wars, do you think he ever imagined Disney would pay him a billion dollars just so they could make all this?” Erik asked aloud, still looking up and turning his head side to side.
“I doubt it,” replied Jason.
“You think he ever feels like a sellout?”
Jason snorted. “I wouldn’t. I wish I had something to sell Disney.”
The crowd in line began to gasp and point at something moving toward the mock-up Millennium Falcon. Erik and Jason turned to see two First Order storm troopers in shiny white uniforms, carrying what looked like blaster guns. The costumed storm troopers were interacting with park visitors while trying to sound stern and stay in character. They walked straight toward Erik and Jason.
“Keep this line moving,” said one of the storm troopers, in a voice that sounded like it was coming through an intercom.
“Stand in an orderly fashion,” said the other storm trooper. “We do not want to use unnecessary force.”
Erik and Jason chuckled along with the visitors standing next to them. The two friends mockingly raised their hands over their heads to show their innocence.
“Are you carrying any unauthorized material?” asked the first storm trooper.
Erik and Jason smiled and shook their heads.
“We’ve been watching you,” said the second storm trooper. “There does not seem to be anything here. Okay, move along.”
The storm troopers marched away to confront other visitors. Jason turned to Erik and said, “That was kind of intimidating. I might like that job.”
A few minutes later, the two friends had moved up in the line so that they were no longer under the Millennium Falcon and were now inside the adjoining building. The building was supposed to be a repair bay inside of a space port. Engines and other spaceship parts were being refurbished and tested. While no actual characters were visible, an audio recording played conversations between employees of the space port. They were hinting at the role the Millennium Falcon might be playing in a smuggling operation trying to evade the First Order.
Erik had a camera dangling from a strap around his neck and he took snapshots of the interior decorations and props. His camera was especially good in the dim light. As he had told Jason countless times, a phone camera was no good when things were moving in the dark and you did not want grainy pictures.
As the two friends moved farther along the line, it was easy for them to let go of reality and imagine they were in an actual space port. They were ushered into a staging area where an animatronic character asked for their help with his smuggling operation. He talked up the money that could be made and how thrilling it could be to evade the heavy fist of the First Order. His clear message: smuggling was lucrative, necessary, and fun.
After being recruited as smugglers, Erik and Jason were pointed through hallways by live employees dressed in space port uniforms. As the hallways and doorways grew more narrow, the obvious plot of the experience involved boarding the Millennium Falcon and assisting with a smuggling operation. Erik and Jason already knew many of the details from their online research. Erik continued to snap pictures of his surroundings. He also noticed a sign that read, “No Video Recording While in the Spacecraft.”
When Erik and Jason reached the end of a tunnel-like hallway, they were greeted by another spaceport employee.
“How many in your party?” she asked.
“Two,” replied Jason.
“You’ll be up front as our two pilots,” said the spaceport girl.
“Can we have the back instead?” asked Jason.
The girl acted surprised, but agreed that Erik and Jason could be in the back of the six-person Millennium Falcon cockpit and serve as the engineers. When the six people for their flight group had been assembled, they marched together toward the actual ride and were ushered into place. Erik and Jason took their spots at the rear of the cockpit.
“Oh yeah, the view is much better back here,” said Erik, after putting on his seat belt.
A voice from overhead reminded the group that video recording was not allowed now that they were in the spacecraft.
It was obvious to Erik and Jason they were in a motion simulator and were not actually going to move anywhere but side to side and up and down. Video screens at the front and sides of the simulator showed the Millennium Falcon launching from the spaceport and then confronted by enemy ships. The two pilots up front were in charge of moving the simulator up and down or left and right. The gunners in the middle were responsible for shooting down enemy TIE fighters. Erik and Jason were supposed to harpoon a cargo of Coaxium, which was the valuable substance they were supposed to be smuggling.
As soon as their mission began and the simulator began rocking, Erik held up his camera with two hands and started recording. From his spot in the back, he had a good perspective of all that was happening. He let Jason deal with the harpoon controls they were supposed to be jointly manning. The four other people, who they had met in line and were now trapped inside the simulator with them, did not seem to care about Erik’s recording. They were more focused on flight controls or killing TIE fighters.
After about five minutes, the smuggling mission was completed, more or less successfully. Erik felt the simulator stop moving. He quickly let go of his camera and let it dangle from its strap. Without looking down, he snapped open the slot which held the camera’s memory card. He pulled out the memory card and replaced it with a second card he had been holding in the palm of his hand.
An audio message made it clear to the passengers that the ride was now over. Everyone in the simulator, except for Erik, unbuckled their seatbelt and stood up. Erik paused to lean over and slip the first memory card into the interior of his shoe. Then he stood and followed Jason and the rest of this flight crew into the disembarking tunnel.
Jason looked back at Erik with a grin. Erik returned a little nod. Before they could get very far, a uniformed spaceport employee emerged from a side door. She gestured toward Jason and Erik.
“Can I have you two come with me for a minute?” she asked.
Erik’s eyes dropped to the ground but Jason asked, “Why? Did we do something wrong?”
“Please, just follow me,” she replied.
Jason and Erik both lowered their heads and trailed the girl past other passengers who were standing in a post-ride celebration area. At one edge of the room, they found an opening at on one side of a false wall. The friends followed their escort through a mazelike passageway. They ended up in front of a door with no handle.
“We need to wait here,” said the escort.
“What for?” argued Jason. “Are we in trouble or something?”
The girl refused to answer and then the door swung open. Two frowning men appeared. They wore bright white uniforms and nametags which simple read SECURITY.
“Follow us please,” said one of the security men.
Jason and Erik had no choice but to walk down a descending, narrow hallway painted a brilliant shade of white. One security man walked in front of them and one behind. The hallway led to a line of unlabeled doorways. The group of four walked inside one of the windowless, white rooms and Jason and Erik were told to sit in metal chairs behind a stainless steel table. A camera was mounted to the ceiling and stared down at them.
“Are either of you carrying any unauthorized material?” asked one of the security men.
Erik and Jason shook their heads.
“We’ve been watching you,” said the second man. “You were filmed during the ride making an illegal recording.”
Erik and Jason both put out their hands, palms up, as if to show their innocence.
“May we see your camera?” asked one of the security men.
“Okay,” replied Erik, lifting the strap over his head and handing him the camera.
The security man seemed to know exactly how to operate the particular model of camera. He turned it on and began to scroll through all the shots saved on the second memory card.
“I don’t see anything you’ve taken today,” said the security man.
“Yeah, I was testing the light levels. I was going to shoot something, but it was too dark inside. I hate blurry and grainy shots. You know what I mean?”
The security man continued to frown as he set the camera on the table. “Will you please remove your shoes and socks?” he said to Erik.
“My shoes and socks? Why?” asked Erik with a nervous laugh.
“We saw you putting something in your shoe at the end of the ride,” said the security man.
Erik shook his head but reluctantly removed his shoes and socks and set them on the table. The security man inspected and shook each one. Nothing fell out. He returned them to the table with a surprised look.
“So can we go? We aren’t the droids you’re looking for,” said Jason, trying hard to be funny.
The two security men glanced at each other. One of them shrugged and said to the other, “Maybe there’s nothing here.” Then he said to Erik, “Put your socks and shoes back on. We’ll still be watching out for illegal recording, but you’re free to move along.”
Erik and Jason were led through more white hallways and then through an opening in a panel that deposited them into the bright Florida sunlight, just outside of Star Wars land. The two friends did not look back as they made their way wordlessly toward the park exit.
When they were both sure no one could possibly be listening, Jason said, “I can’t believe that secret hatch trick worked. When he made you take off your shoes, I was sure we were done for.”
“I told you I cut out the slot so no one would notice. It’s right between the foam and the leather. And I tested it out a bunch of times,” said Erik with a proud laugh. “I shook my shoe a lot harder than that guy and never had anything fly out.”
“I guess real smugglers aren’t going to make it too obvious,” said Jason, joining in Erik’s laughter.
“Yeah, you know that Han Solo tried out his hiding places on the Falcon a few times before he was ever boarded,” added Erik.
“So now what? How about the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster?”
“Let’s go back to our car first. I want to make sure no one finds that card in my shoe. I don’t know about you, but now I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being watched.”
Please remember to subscribe for weekly reminders about new stories. You can subscribe by clicking here: Subscribe. You can also follow new content on any Podcast platform or on YouTube.