Throwing a Round of Golf
THROWING A ROUND OF GOLF – September 5, 2025 – Houston, Texas, USA
When Jonas asked his friend, Carter, to join him at his company’s picnic, he promised platefuls of great barbecue and free drinks.
“My tagging along won’t seem weird?” Carter asked.
“Nah. It’s for friends and family. Anyone’s invited. I need to make an appearance but I don’t want to go alone.”
The picnic was held in the parking lot and adjoining lawn next to the building where Jonas worked. When he and Carter arrived, a few hundred people were already milling around. The friends got in a line that led to one of the meat smokers churning out ribs. Jonas greeted coworkers he knew as Carter awkwardly stood next to him. After loading up plates with meat, roasted corn, and potato salad, they walked toward the folding tables and chairs set up on the grass.
Along the way, Jonas spotted someone interesting. “Check it out. There’s Rico Ryan under that tree. I should say hi.”
“Who’s Rico Ryan?”
“One of the company founders. I’m pretty sure he’s a billionaire. People say he’s crazy. He’ll spend money on weird bets and buying private islands filled with giraffes.”
The two friends changed direction and Carter got a closer look at Rico Ryan, who leaned against a tree wearing a salmon-colored kilt and ruffly white shirt. The thick hair on his head was graying but his goatee was dyed jet black. He was in the middle of an intense conversation with a man dressed like a corporate executive.
“Hi, Mr. Ryan!” Jonas called as he approached the tree.
The man in the kilt looked over at Jonas and Carter and obviously did not recognize either one. His mouth was open as if he was in the middle of a sentence. His thoughts appeared to instantly pivot and he called back, “Have either of you ever played golf?”
Eager for the opportunity to speak with Rico Ryan, Jonas quickly replied, “Sure, I play at least a couple of times every year.”
Rico looked at Carter and waited for an answer. “Me? No, I’ve never played, Mr. Ryan.”
“Call me Rico,” he said with an interested smile. “Never golfed, huh? Not even at a driving range like one of those Top Golf places?”
“Nope. Never touched a club.”
Rico looked Carter up and down. “You’re young. Reasonable shape. How’d you like to help me settle a question I have? You could win, let’s say, ten thousand dollars.”
Carter chuckled in an embarrassed way. “What would I have to do?”
“Nothing all that strange. Show up tomorrow at the country club down the road.”
“We’re going to play golf?”
“Sort of. But I don’t want you practicing or anything before you get there.”
“Can I bring Jonas?”
“Sure. And I’ll bring Elbert.” Rico gestured toward the conservatively dressed man still standing next to him. “Should be fun and enlightening.”
Carter and Jonas strolled away from the unexpected conversation and speculated about what Carter might be asked to do.
“If it’s at the country club, it can’t be that weird,” Jonas assured his friend.
“And you’re sure he’s good for the money?”
“Absolutely. This’ll be the easiest ten grand you’ll ever make.”
The two friends showed up at the country club the next morning and found Rico waiting for them. He was dressed in a classic golfing outfit including long socks and puffy pants that only reached to his knees. Elbert was again standing next to him.
“We don’t have any clubs,” Jonas said, holding out his hands to show they did not bring anything.
“You can borrow clubs,” Rico said to Jonas. Then he turned to Carter and said, “You won’t be needing any. You see, I’ve always wondered how low a score someone can get by throwing the ball instead of hitting it. You ready to try?”
Carter instinctively rotated his arm in a throwing motion. “I guess so. How do I win the $10,000?”
“I’ll explain that later. For now, just concentrate on doing your best.”
Jonas and Carter drove their own golf cart to the first tee and talked about what was about to happen.
“You sure he’s got a lot of money to throw around?” Carter asked.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Like he said, have fun and throw your best.”
When they stood on the spot where they were supposed to start, Carter squinted to see the flag marking the distant hole.
“This is a par four. Four hundred yards,” Rico announced. “How about the three of us swinging clubs take our shots and then Carter can throw?”
Rico went first. His driver made contact with the ball and it sailed high and to the right. Jonas’s ball trailed off toward the left. Elbert’s ball traveled farthest and straightest. When it was Carter’s turn, he held a golf ball loosely in his hand. It felt small and light. He rotated his arm a few times, took a few steps forward, and threw the ball as hard as he could. It did not soar as high as the balls hit with a club but landed on the fairway and bounced forward. Carter estimated it traveled the length of a football field before stopping.
“Pretty straight, at least,” Rico said with a smile. “Okay, let’s go find our balls.”
The group got back into their carts and drove down the fairway. They reached Carter’s ball first and he picked it up and again threw it toward the flag. The others swung at their balls and they landed in unpredictable places. Carter took five throws to reach the putting green. From there, he took two lucky tosses to reach the cup.
“That gives you a seven,” Rico said, carefully recording everyone’s scores. “And that’s seven for me and Jonas. Six for Elbert. Very interesting. Now only 17 more holes to play.”
For the next five hours, Carter threw a golf ball while the other three in his group swung clubs. He did a good job at aiming and avoiding sand traps and water hazards but his thrown ball could not compare in distance to one that was well struck by a club. After the first nine holes, he had a score of 62. His shoulder throbbed from overuse and on his final nine holes his distances suffered. But he pushed himself, hoping to impress Rico and somehow win the $10,000. When the final hole was done, Rico announced the scores.
“That’s 131 for Carter and his arm. Ninety-nine for me and 104 for Jonas. Elbert gets an 89.”
Carter winced in disappointment, figuring he needed to beat someone’s score in order to get the money. But Rico had another surprise for him.
“The experiment isn’t over. Now that we’ve got a baseline number of 131, the question I really want answered is if you can beat that score on your first try using clubs.”
“I’ve gotta do this again?” Carter asked, holding on to his sore arm.
“Be back here the same time tomorrow. If you beat 131 swinging clubs, and you get the $10,000.”
On his way home with Jonas, Carter grumbled over trying so hard when throwing the ball. “If I knew what the contest was, I would have taken ten extra throws per hole.”
“You still put up a pretty high number. I think you can beat it,” Jonas said encouragingly.
“Rico never said I can’t practice before tomorrow. Maybe you can teach me a few things. Like how to hold a club.”
The friends drove to a driving range where Jonas did his best to give Carter a crash course in golf basics. Given the money at stake, Carter was not shy about asking advice from anyone at the range who appeared to know what they were doing. He spent more than four hours swinging and putting. He woke up the next morning nursing a sore arm and back.
“You ready for this?” Rico asked excitedly when Carter arrived at the country club. “You need some pointers on how to swing?”
Carter did not want to jeopardize his prize money by admitting he had practiced the night before, so he humbly accepted the advice offered by Rico and Elbert. When their group reached the first tee, all eyes were on Carter’s first swing. He made contact with the ball, but not very cleanly. It dribbled forward about the same distance it would have gone if he threw it.
“Not bad,” Rico concluded. “You’ll probably get better as we go.”
Carter did not attempt any booming swings that risked sending the ball in unknown directions. His aim was dicey enough when taking gentle swings. Luckily, he reached the first green in five hits. It took him three putts to get the ball in the hole.
“That’s an eight for you,” Rico said as he recorded scores. “Not too different than yesterday. Hmm. Let’s see how this goes.”
Carter used up all his beginner’s luck on the first hole. His shots became more erratic. The group spent more and more time looking for where his ball landed. Rico was visibly frustrated by the delays. Carter ignored the scowls and his aching body and kept swinging. By the time they finished the first nine holes, he had scored a 79.
Rico suddenly looked very bored. “You know what, I think I have the answer to my experiment. To beat 131, you’d have to shoot the back nine in 51 and I think we know that’s impossible.”
“So what are you saying?” Carter nervously asked.
“Rather than watch you flail around for a couple more hours, how about I offer you a deal? Walk away now and I’ll give you $2000 for your trouble. Or you can keep trying to win the $10,000. But if you don’t come in under 131, you get nothing.”
Carter did not hesitate. “I’ll take the $2000.”
Rico pulled a roll of $100 bills from his pocket and counted out twenty of them for Carter. “Thanks for being my guinea pig.”
Carter and Jonas drove their cart directly to the clubhouse while Rico and Elbert finished up their round.
“I guess you got the world’s most bizarre introduction to golf,” Jonas said. “Now that you’ve been on a course, you can play the next time I try to organize a foursome.”
“No thanks.”
“You’re not going to play again?”
“I don’t think it’s for me. I learned more than I ever wanted to. And since I made $2000, you could say I’ve been a professional golfer. Time to retire while I’m ahead.”
Jonas chuckled and said, “Retired pro. That actually sounds pretty good. Since you’re loaded right now, how about paying for a late lunch? I wanna try this new barbecue place.”
“As long as no one from your work will be there.”
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