October 27, 2004 – Bentonville, Arkansas, USA
Lance Reynolds had carefully planned his escape route. He cleared his little excursion with his boss, but he did not want his coworkers to notice him leaving. He strolled out of his cubicle carrying a gym bag, trying to look like he was on the way to the breakroom. Then he ducked into a stairwell and hurried toward the bathroom on the ground floor.
Once inside a bathroom stall, Lance slipped out of his polo shirt and slacks and pulled on the Top Gun jumpsuit hidden in his bag. It was a cheap version of the one worn in the movie and the only Halloween costume Lance had ever liked. He put on the sunglasses that were also in the bag and admired himself in the mirror before walking out of the bathroom and to his nearby car. He threw his regular clothes onto the backseat and drove to his son’s elementary school.
It was a few days before Halloween, but it seemed to Lance that Halloween celebrations had spread out to include parties and carnivals a full week before the actual October 31st date. He was on his way to some type of invite-your-parent-to-school visit, but since it was so close to Halloween, costumes were encouraged. When his six-year-old son, Jacob, explained the visit, Lance was flattered.
“Dad, can you come to my class and wear your pilot uniform?” Jacob had asked.
“My pilot uniform? What for?” Lance replied.
“So you can talk about what you do.”
“Is it some kind of career day?”
Jacob looked a little unsure, but he answered, “Yes.”
“But why would I wear my pilot costume?”
“My teacher said some of the other dads are going to wear theirs too.”
“Are you sure? They’re dressing up?”
“Yes. Rachel’s dad is dressing up and so is Kyle’s dad. Oh, and so is Angela’s dad.”
Lance did not take wearing around a Halloween costume lightly. He normally brought out the Top Gun jumpsuit only for small parties where costumes were required. He tried to imagine the scene in Jacob’s classroom if the other parents were wearing costumes and he was not. Would it be that big of a deal? Would he stick out all that much? He agonized over the question that night with Laura, his wife.
“Don’t you think they’re taking this Halloween thing too far?” said Lance. “I mean, what does wearing a costume have to do with our jobs?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the teachers think it will be fun for the kids. Maybe you don’t looks so intimidating when you’re in a costume.”
“I guess,” replied Lance.
“When you get to talking about HTML and servers and all that code stuff, it can fly right over people’s heads.”
“Oh, because I’m some kind of computer nerd who can only talk to other computer nerds?”
“No, you know I’m not saying that. It’s just that your job’s really technical and not a lot of people can understand it.”
“But maybe they should.”
“Yeah, maybe they should,” replied Laura.
“And that includes you,” added Lance.
He was sensitive to people’s perceptions of his job as a website programmer. Like almost everyone in Bentonville, Arkansas, he worked for Walmart’s corporate headquarters. The managers and executives gave off the distinct impression that programmers like Lance were a necessary evil that should be housed in cubicles away from the truly important people. Lance hated the “nerd” label. He was smart and creative in ways that did not only involve webpages. And the work he was doing was not only an afterthought add-on to Walmart’s business. He kept telling Laura that someday it would be the most important part of their business.
“You know I think it’s exciting,” Laura said reassuringly. “And I’m sure Jacob’s class will think so too.”
“Yeah, I guess Jacob seemed excited about me coming. It’s the first time he’s shown any real interest,” Lance replied, sounding more positive.
“And you know how good you look in your flight suit,” said Laura in a sultry voice. “I’m looking forward to seeing you in it too.”
Lance smiled slyly and began quoting the closing lines from the Top Gun movie, “This could get complicated. You know, on the first one, I crashed and burned.”
“And the second?” replied Laura, also quoting from the movie.
“I don’t know. But it’s looking good so far.”
It was no surprise that Lance could quote all the lines. The movie had been very influential on his childhood. He owned a copy on VHS tape and then on DVD. As soon as Jacob had shown the ability to hold toy airplanes and fly them around, Lance had introduced him to Top Gun flight sequences. Lance fast forwarded through all the talking and love scenes to get to the parts involving the aircraft carrier and air-to-air combat.
“Those are the kinds of planes I used to fly,” Lance had jokingly said to Jacob.
“You flew in airplanes?” Jacob asked in amazement.
“In F-14s. We called them Tomcats.”
“Is that you on the TV?”
“No, that’s just a movie. Not real.”
Jacob slowly processed all the new information. “You were in the Army?”
“The Navy. They fly F-14s in the Navy.”
Lance was never sure what did and did not stick inside of Jacob’s head, but for some reason, the little joke about flying F-14s left a big impression. When Jacob flew his toy planes around, he pretended to be like his daddy. Lance made up stories for him about flying at supersonic speeds and shooting down bad guys. When he joined Jacob’s play sessions, they imagined landing on an unstable aircraft carrier and taking off again.
When Lance arrived in his jumpsuit at Jacob’s elementary school, he hurried into the front office. “I’m supposed to be in Ms. Landry’s room,” Lance explained to the woman behind the counter.
“Go straight down the hall. It’ll be at the end, on your left,” said the woman.
Lance felt like he needed to offer some additional explanation for his visit and jumpsuit. “The class is having a career day. The teacher wanted us to dress up.”
The woman behind the desk nodded politely and said she hoped Lance had a good time.
Lance walked down the hallway, peeking in at the classroom doors he passed. Ms. Landry’s 1st grade classroom was marked by a hand painted sign and the student-made artwork hung on the wall. Lance stopped to admire his son’s pumpkin drawing before knocking on the door.
When Ms. Landry noticed Lance waving through the window, she rushed over to greet him. “I’m so glad you could come. Whose parent are you?” she asked in a welcoming voice.
“Jacob’s,” Lance proudly answered.
As soon as Jacob spotted his father, he rushed from his desk to embrace him.
“Yes, I see you two know each other,” said Ms. Landry. “Jacob is so excited to have you visit. He talks about you all the time.”
Lance looked down at his son with a smile. “You do?”
Jacob eagerly nodded his head.
“You’re the first one to arrive,” said Ms. Landry. She pointed to four stools at the front of the classroom. “I’m going to have y’all sit up here and tell the kids about yourselves. You’re welcome to pick whichever stool you’d like.”
Lance and Jacob walked over to the stool closest to Ms. Landry’s desk and farthest from the door.
“I’ll watch you from my desk,” said Jacob sweetly and he returned to his seat.
Lance perched on his stool and looked out at the twenty-five pairs of first-grade eyes staring back at him. He felt a little exposed sitting there by himself and hoped the other parents showed up soon so he was not the only curiosity in the room.
All heads turned when there was another knock on the door. Ms. Landry hurried over to greet two men. One was wearing a formal Marine uniform. The other wore camouflage Army fatigues. Two of the first-graders obviously recognized the new arrivals and ran over to greet them. The men hugged their kids and then talked with Ms. Landry in voices too quiet for Lance to hear.
As soon as he saw the two military uniforms, Lance wondered whether something might be seriously wrong. Why would both of those guys dress up as soldiers for Halloween, in costumes a lot more authentic than the one he was wearing? Could it be a huge coincidence or was something else going on?
The Marine and Army guys walked into the classroom and looked suspiciously at Lance. He smiled awkwardly and flashed them a little wave, but they did not respond. They sat on the two stools farthest from him.
A fourth guest arrived at the door. He was dressed in a real Air Force flight suit, complete with a helmet. He was so tall, he instinctively ducked while walking through the classroom’s doorway. He strolled toward the empty stool, nodding at the Marine and Army guys. He took one good look at Lance and stopped cold. At that moment, his daughter burst from the desks and raced over to give him a hug.
Now Lance knew something was wrong. He was definitely not supposed to be there. He stared at the real patches on the Air Force man’s suit and compared them to the ones on his costume. The Air Force man had a patch that read “Captain Donaldson”. Lance’s patch read “Maverick”. Instead of the name of an Air Force unit, Lance had a patch that was the logo for the Top Gun movie.
The real pilot, Captain Donaldson, watched his daughter return to her seat and then moved to the stool next to Lance. He balanced his helmet on his knee.
“Welcome, all four of you to our class’s salute to our military!” announced Ms. Landry. “We’re so lucky to have parents who have served in every branch of the armed forces, Army, Marines, Air Force, and Navy.”
Ms. Landry clapped and the rest of the class joined her. So did three of the adult guests. Lance was too frozen with embarrassment to move his arms or any other part of his body. Sweat poured from his forehead and armpits. He could not blink or change the focus of his eyeballs.
Should he run? Should he make a big announcement that there had been a mistake? Would he ever have to see these people again? Unfortunately, yes. This was Jacob’s school class. He would be in it all year and probably with the same kids for years to come. These kids would be his friends and he was sitting there with his friends’ dads.
Out of the corner of his unfocused eye, he could make out the shape of Jacob’s glowing face. He had obviously taken seriously the idea of his father being a Navy pilot and been able to communicate it to his teacher. Maybe he thought Lance still flew planes, and when he left home to go to work, it was to land on an aircraft carrier.
While the students in the room were still clapping, Captain Donaldson leaned over toward Lance. Lance felt him looming there and he tilted his head up to get an unfocused glance at his stern face.
“Where’d you do your flight training?” asked Captain Donaldson in a deep voice.
Lance first thought of confessing that he had never been in any kind of cockpit. Then he had the desperate thought that maybe Captain Donaldson had a sense of humor. Lance’s brain was only working at 10% of normal capacity, but he could still remember the location of the training base in the Top Gun movie.
“Miramar?” Lance muttered with a pitiful smile, hoping Captain Donaldson might think it was funny.
It turned out that Captain Donaldson did not have a measurable sense of humor. He sneered at Lance and said, “Nice costume, Maverick.”
Ms. Landry made another announcement to the class. “I would like each of our guests to tell us about what they did for their military service and how it has affected their lives. Let’s start with Jacob’s dad.”
Lance sat in stunned silence for a few seconds before Ms. Landry prompted him with, “Jacob’s dad? Can you tell us about what you did?”
“Uh, well, can I go last? I’m not really ready. And I’m sure these other gentlemen have much better things to say than I do.”
“Okay, how about we start with Angela’s dad?” said Ms. Landry.
The Marine was happy to talk about his time as a communications specialist, connecting soldiers with radios and computers. The guy in the Army uniform was still actively serving as a recruiter. He told the class about all the wonderful career opportunities the Army had to offer.
Lance’s head spun like a Tilt-a-Whirl. His ultimate hope was that a bell would ring and they would run out of time before it was his turn to talk. Maybe he would ask to go to the bathroom or fake like he was sick. He felt like he was back in school again, facing a test he did not study for.
Captain Donaldson began speaking in his baritone voice. “I’m a transport pilot. I fly the big planes, not the little ones like Jacob’s dad over here.”
Lance smiled awkwardly and wondered if he could transfer to a job away from Bentonville.
Captain Donaldson talked about flying people and supplies into small airports and taking off on short runways. Then he bragged about flying big airline jets for his current job. He concluded with, “I need to leave some time for Jacob’s dad. I wanna hear about him shooting down MiGs over the Indian Ocean.”
Everyone in the room again stared at Lance. The only think keeping him upright on his stool was the look of admiration on his son’s face. Lance did not want Jacob feeling the same kind of humiliation he was feeling. He could not admit he was never in the Navy, but he did not dare make up a bunch of flying stories and risk getting punched by Captain Donaldson for impersonating a naval officer.
“I just want to thank all of these three guys for their service,” said Lance weakly. “Any stories I have would just sound silly compared to what they’ve gone through.”
The only person in the room who seemed sympathetic to what Lance might be experiencing was Ms. Landry. Instead of asking him to say anything else, she told the class to clap again and thank their guests one more time.
The next ten seconds were a blur for Lance. He remembered hugging his son again and then the uncontrollable urge to get out into the hallway. Once he was free, he sprinted toward the front exit like he had swallowed a bottle of Ex-Lax and needed a toilet. Instead of returning to work, he drove straight home. He did not want to risk anyone seeing him in the pilot costume. He swore to himself he would never wear it again. In fact, he would burn it. That part of his fake identity was going to be quick and easy to scrub. Erasing the F-14 memories in Jacob’s head would be much harder.
Please remember to subscribe for weekly reminders about new stories. You can subscribe by clicking here: Subscribe. You can also follow new content on any Podcast platform or on YouTube.