Slytherin Halloween
October 31, 2007 – Westlake Village, California, USA
“Where’s the candy?” asked Vince, as he looked into the shopping cart.
“I don’t have any,” replied Katie. “But look, I’ve got some cool pencils and erasers and these glow sticks.”
“It’s Halloween. Kids will want candy,” Vince skeptically replied.
“I know, I know. But when they come to our house, I’ll make these other things look better than candy.”
“You might have a shot of that working on some other day, but not on Halloween. If you give kids the choice between $20 bills and candy, they’ll take the candy.”
“No, I don’t think so,” replied Katie. “I’ll even prove it to you. Go grab a bag of candy and you’ll see that it’ll still be full by the end of the night.”
Vince smiled at what sounded like a challenge. Candy displays stood almost everywhere he looked inside the store. He picked out a bag with tiny, bit-sized candy bars and added it to the cart.
“These are like a hundred times smaller than a full-sized candy bar, but they’ll still go for them before a pencil,” Vince said confidently.
Both Katie and Vince had been looking forward to Halloween ever since moving into their new Westlake Village townhouse. Two different neighbors had told them that Halloween was a highlight for the community. It was the one holiday that everyone could celebrate and enjoy, no matter their religion or politics. According to the neighbors, most people decorated their houses and most of the kids went trick-or-treating.
Katie fondly remembered Halloween as a child, which included going door to door and collecting as much candy as possible in a pillowcase. She and her friends would eat a good portion of it that night and then Katie would hide the rest of her candy under her bed. She could make it last until Thanksgiving.
As much fun as she had sneaking candy at night after she had brushed her teeth, the adult version of Katie now worried about the long term damage of Halloween candy. Katie had completed dental hygienist school only a few months earlier and now spent her days looking inside the mouths of kids and adults. She could see right away who brushed and who did not, and who was eating too much sugar. As a dental professional, Katie worried about how it would look if she gave away candy. She would be contributing to the problem of tooth rotting.
“It’s only for one night. Kids can go a little wild,” one mother loudly said in the dental office one day, while discussing Halloween night.
“Well, sugar can be just as addicting as drugs,” the dentist, who owned the office, whispered to Katie. “One night can be habit forming.”
Katie was eager to agree with him. “And it’s not like it’s only one night,” she whispered back to the dentist. “Some kids can make their Halloween candy last for a month.”
The dentist nodded and Katie was convinced she was not going to be a part of the problem. She gave quite a bit of thought to things she could give away to trick-or-treaters that would make them forget all about candy. At first, she was going to buy some scary, plastic spider rings and necklaces. While shopping on Halloween morning, she decided she liked the idea of pencils and erasers better. When she passed a glow stick display, she also added those to the cart.
Her plan was not simply to drop items into trick-or-treaters’ bags. She was going to make it more fun than that. She had already purchased three large, plastic witch cauldrons. The prizes would go inside and she would let kids decide which one they wanted. But after hearing Vince argue that kids wanted candy no matter what, Katie began to doubt herself. Would the witch cauldrons be enough? She did not want kids leaving her house thinking they had been shortchanged. She wanted them to appreciate that they were getting something high quality and lasting, like a pencil. But to make sure they were appreciative, Katie decided she needed to step up her game. Luckily, there was still time.
Katie already had a new idea in mind when she arrived at party supply store that afternoon. The place was packed with people looking for last-minute decorations. Luckily for Katie, there was a whole wall for Harry Potter merchandise. The last of the seven Harry Potter books had been published that summer and the craze was in full force.
Katie bought an authentic looking wand and robe and then a hat and glasses to make her look like a Hogwarts teacher. She also bought a purple wizard’s hat decorated with moons and stars, and a fourth cauldron, slightly smaller than the original three. She bought sticker labels for the four Hogwarts houses and could not resist picking up a small fog machine on her way to the checkout counter.
The entryway to Katie and Vince’s townhouse was not very large, so Katie decided she would set most of her decorations outside on the small, cement porch. Between her two carved jack-o-lanterns, she positioned the four cauldrons and attached the four house stickers – Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. She chose Slytherin for the smallest cauldron. She placed a kitchen chair in front of the cauldrons and laid the wizard’s hat on top of it. The smoke machine spewed a weak but steady layer of fog out the open front door. Katie covered the door with fake spider webs and played the soundtrack from the Harry Potter movies using a boom box.
Vince arrived home through the garage to find Katie dressed in her robes and hat. “Who are you supposed to be?” Vince asked.
“A Hogwarts teacher. Did you see the front door? Come look!”
Vince read off the names of the four Hogwarts houses labeled on the cauldrons.
“I’m using psychology,” said Katie proudly.
She dropped her collection of pencils into the Gryffindor cauldron, the erasers into Ravenclaw, and the glow sticks into Hufflepuff. Then she dumped the micro-candies into the Slytherin cauldron.
“When kids come to the door, I’ll have them sit on the chair and wear the sorting hat,” Katie explained excitedly. “Then I’ll tell them they’re in one of the houses. They get to pick a prize out of their houses’ cauldron. No one will want to be in Slytherin and so no one will want the candy.”
“Huh. Pretty sneaky,” said Vince. “But I still think some of the kids will want the candy, even if it means being in Slytherin.”
“No, way. They’d rather starve than be in Slytherin.”
“I guess you’ll see,” said Vince.
The sun could not go down fast enough. Katie watched the street from a window, dressed in her full costume. Her first trick-or-treaters arrived just before 6 pm, when it was still bright outside. Katie walked to her door and stepped over the cauldrons. She greeted her guests while holding the purple wizard hat.
The three trick-or-treaters shyly approached the porch, leaving their parents waiting for them near the edge of the townhouse’s lawn. The kids were all under ten-years-old and dressed in pretty traditional Halloween costumes. A little girl wore a princess dress and crown. Her brothers were a cowboy and a baseball player.
“Trick or treat!” the three kids called in unison.
“Hello and welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” said Katie, doing her best British accent. “Have all of you heard of Hogwarts?”
The three kids eagerly nodded their heads.
“Then how would you like to be sorted into one of the Hogwarts houses?” asked Katie.
The kids nodded again and said together, “I would.”
Katie pointed to the oldest looking boy wearing the baseball uniform. “Sit right here on this chair and I’ll put the sorting hat on you.”
The boy walked to the chair and sat, smiling with anticipation. Katie placed the large purple hat partially over the top of the boy’s head and then leaned in close, like she was listening to a sound coming from inside the hat.
“The hat has decided you’re in Gryffindor!” Katie exclaimed. “You can go and pick a prize from the Gryffindor cauldron.”
The baseball player stood up, still wearing his smile, and moved over to the lineup of cauldrons. He stuck his hand inside the one labeled Gryffindor and looked surprised when he pulled out a pencil. He looked back into the cauldron, inspected the others, then returned to his spot on the sidewalk next to his fellow trick-or-treaters.
“Okay, who’s next?” called Katie. “How about our princess?”
The little girl sat on the chair. Katie put the hat on her head before declaring she was part of Ravenclaw. The girl went to the Ravenclaw cauldron and pulled out an eraser. She looked at it, dropped it back into the cauldron, and then put her arm back inside. After fishing around for a few seconds, she pulled out another eraser and then went and stood on the sidewalk.
The cowboy took his turn with the chair and the hat and found out he was part of Hufflepuff. He reached in and grabbed a glow stick from his cauldron before inspecting what was in the other black pots.
“I didn’t get any candy,” he said to the princess and baseball player as he walked toward them.
“I don’t think she believes in candy,” replied the princess, “but you’re still supposed to say thank you.”
“She believes in candy, we just didn’t get any,” said the baseball player. “One of those pots has candy in it.”
The kids turned and walked away down the sidewalk. Katie called out, “Happy Halloween!” as she watched them go.
The next two arrivals were two girls who looked like they were on the verge of becoming teenagers. Both were dressed as witches, complete with green makeup covering their faces.
“Ah, two witches. You must know all about Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” said Katie.
“Yeah, we’ve read all the books,” said one of the pre-teen witches.
“Then how about wearing this sorting hat and getting sorted into one of the houses?” asked Katie.
“Sure, we’ll do it,” said the second witch.
“Which house are you hoping for?” asked Katie.
“Gryffindor, I guess,” said the first witch.
“Yeah, Gryffindor,” agreed the second witch.
After the first witch sat in the chair and wore the hat, Katie declared that she was indeed part of Gryffindor and could go claim her prize. The witch reached into the appropriate cauldron and pulled out a pencil as if it were part of a practical joke.
The second witch took her place on the chair and Katie again called out that she was part of Gryffindor. The witch hopped off the chair and inspected the cauldrons.
“I changed my mind. I want to be in Slytherin,” said the second witch.
“Yeah, me too,” said the first witch.
“You don’t get to choose your house,” replied Katie. “The sorting hat chooses it for you.”
“But I don’t want a pencil for Halloween,” said the first witch.
“You should take your prize and be happy with it,” said Katie, trying her best to sound like a British teacher trying to emphasize a lesson.
The witches sighed and walked away with their pencils.
There was a break in the action, which gave Katie time to reevaluate the approach she was taking. She was ready when the next four kids walked up. Right behind them was a woman dressed as a clown, who was obviously a parent of the trick-or-treaters.
“What a good looking group!” called Katie in her British accent.
“You need to say ‘trick or treat’,” urged the clown parent.
“Trick or treat!” yelled the four kids.
“I hope all of you have heard of Hogwarts,” said Katie. “I’d like to welcome you and sort you into one of our four houses.”
“Wow, that sounds like fun!” exclaimed the clown parent.
“So let me have you come up, one at a time, and we’ll let the sorting hat decide your house. Once you all have a house, you’ll get to pick a prize from your house cauldron. Are you ready?”
The four kids enthusiastically sat for their sorting. Katie declared that one of them was from Gryffindor, two from Ravenclaw, and one from Hufflepuff.
“Alright, now you can go find your cauldrons and get your prizes,” Katie announced.
The four kids cheered and hurried over to the black pots. After digging around for a few seconds, they realized that none of them had been selected for a house giving away candy.
“Why doesn’t Ravenclaw get candy instead of erasers?” one of the kids demanded.
“A nice eraser will last a lot longer than candy,” Katie explained sweetly.
“I wish I could be in Slytherin,” muttered one of the other kids.
“No, you shouldn’t want to be in Slytherin just to get candy,” said Katie.
“But it’s Halloween. We’re supposed to get candy,” argued the kid.
“Candy can be dangerous. It can ruin your teeth,” said Katie, using her teacher voice again. “And once you start eating it, it’s addicting.”
“Hey, I can appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but can you give it a rest for one night?” called the clown parent from the sidewalk.
Katie turned around in surprise and said, “Excuse me?”
“It’s just nice not to be political or have an agenda on Halloween,” said the parent.
“Oh, well I didn’t mean to,” Katie stammered. “I was trying to do something good. I guess they can have the candy if they want.”
“Yay!” cried the four kids and they each pulled one of the micro-bars from the Slytherin cauldron.
Vince had gone out to pick up some food for dinner, and when he returned, he found Katie almost in tears.
“I was trying to do something right,” she said, with a pout. “Everybody knows sugar is bad for kids, but I’m the only one who seems to care.”
Vince wisely swallowed the urge to say he had warned her. “Halloween is just a weird day,” he said, instead. “No one’s thinking straight. Most other days, everyone wants a pencil instead of a piece of sugar.”
“So I should just give up like everyone else?” replied Katie.
“It’s up to you. But I don’t want your Halloween to be miserable.”
“I guess I could just leave out the four cauldrons and let them choose what house they want to be in. I’m kind of not in the mood for the sorting hat anymore.”
From that point on, Katie still pretended to be a Hogwarts teacher, but she announced to new arrivals they could pick their house by pulling a prize from the house’s pot. At least 90% of visitors swore their allegiance to Slytherin. Vince had to return to the store to restock their candy supply because the last thing Katie wanted to hear was a complaint about “only getting a pencil.”
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