Professor Dress Code
October 3, 2022 – Ruston, Louisiana, USA
Taylor Whetton sat in his usual spot along the wall of the dim and damp-smelling conference room. Next to him were his young colleagues Morteza Shoshtari and Amir Hamadi. The older mechanical engineering professors tended to sit around the dinged-up rectangular table at the center of the room.
During most faculty meetings, Taylor, Morteza, and Amir kept their laptops open and tried to ignore department business. Most discussions were dominated by three senior members – Professors Brooks, Frandsen, and Pedrati. Behind their backs, Taylor called them The Three Wizards. Their opinions typically started with the phrase, “We tried that years ago. I’ll tell you why it didn’t work.” The department’s chairperson was supposed to manage discussions, but usually got steamrolled by The Wizards.
Halfway through their current meeting, the chair introduced a new topic by saying, “I keep getting requests for a faculty dress code when we’re lecturing. What do we think of the idea?”
Professor Brooks immediately took over. “This is something I’ve advocated for years. When I started this job, the dress standard was business professional. Ties for men. Dresses for women. We get farther away from that every year.”
Taylor looked up from his laptop. He was only half listening, but he still recognized a potential lifestyle threat. He was wearing a short-sleeve polo shirt. Morteza and Amir were in T-shirts. The three of them represented the very bottom of the dress formality scale in the department. At the top sat The Three Wizards, wearing ties and suit jackets. Taylor knew from The Wizards offhand comments, that they did not approve of younger professors dressing like they were students, but this was the first time it was being brought up for department-wide consideration.
If no one voiced opposition, these kinds of ideas could quickly become policy. A month earlier, The Three Wizards decided they did not like pictures and printouts taped on people’s doors. Other professors were too afraid or indifferent to argue. All the offending pictures were removed.
Taylor did not want to wear a tie and button-down shirt every day. He only had two ties in his entire wardrobe. He would be forced to buy more and spend a bunch of time ironing each week. Surely most members of the department agreed with him. He looked over at Morteza and Amir and gestured for them to say something. They buried their heads in their laptops.
Taylor took a deep breath and raised his hand. The eyes in the room swiveled in his direction and waited for him to speak. “I uh, well, I was just thinking that if the university doesn’t have a dress code for faculty, maybe we shouldn’t have one for mechanical engineering professors.”
Taylor could see in the faces staring back at him that most were relieved he had spoken up. Professor Brooks’ face was not one showing relief. He was quick to say, “Just because there isn’t a university rule doesn’t mean we can’t lead out. Students respect us more when they see us dress professionally.”
Taylor wanted to say something about students not respecting old-fashioned traditions, but he remembered to remain diplomatic. “I appreciate what you’re saying, but I think every instructor should decide for themselves. When I’m lecturing, I don’t think my students think about what I’m wearing. It’s all about what I’m saying.”
Professor Brooks scowled and Taylor worried if his resistance was a mistake. Before he could say another word, one of the senior professors who was not part of The Three Wizards asked a question about how the dress code would be enforced. More people had questions about exceptions and punishments and whether Fridays might be more casual. Questions turned into arguments and for the next twenty minutes no one could agree on even the smallest point. The department chair pointed to the clock and said the meeting was over. The question about the dress code would need further discussion.
Taylor smiled to himself. He had blown up the idea, at least temporarily. Morteza and Amir leaned over and said, “Way to go. You saved us.”
“For now. Why didn’t either of you say anything?”
“We saw you were handling it,” Morteza answered. “We were silently cheering you on.”
The dress code idea quietly simmered in the faculty hallway for the next month. Taylor felt people silently scrutinizing what he wore and sensed a chill whenever he met one of The Three Wizards. He told himself it would all blow over and his good performance was more important than any fashion opinion. How could anyone argue his results as a teacher? People in his classes liked his enthusiasm and his empathy. Since Taylor was only a few years older than most of his students, they easily understood each other.
Taylor especially liked the students in the current semester’s thermodynamics class. They were mostly sophomores and not yet jaded about college. They liked hearing about Taylor’s family and social life and how he got through thermodynamics when he was their age. There was plenty of natural pre-lecture chatter and by the end of October, the class was talking about Halloween parties.
“We have class on Halloween. Who’s gonna wear their costume?” Taylor asked.
“Do we get extra credit?” more than one student asked in reply.
Taylor smirked. “Sure. Anyone who wears a costume will get extra credit.”
“What’s your costume going to be?” one of Taylor’s favorite students asked.
“I haven’t thought about it yet.”
“You have to wear something. If the rest of us are doing it, so should you.”
That evening, Taylor considered his costume options. One solution was shopping at a Halloween store for a ready-made kit, which could make him look like a vampire or a prison inmate. Before driving to the store, he checked his closet for something he could use for free. One of the few pieces of clothing on a hanger was his black Ph.D. graduation robe, complete with black velvet stripes on the poofy sleeves. He had paid lots of money for it, but only wore it during end-of-year graduation ceremonies. Why not get more use from it? It was right in front of him, ready to wear.
Taylor strutted into his thermodynamics class on Halloween wearing the robe. A majority of his students wore homemade costumes, many with a superhero or Dungeons and Dragons theme. When they saw Taylor, one of them called out, “Who are you supposed to be?”
“A professor. Maybe one from Hogwarts. Who’s your favorite Hogwart’s professor?”
“Snape.”
“Okay, I’m Professor Snape. You know if you got to college in England, the professors wear robes like this all the time.”
“Is that true?”
“Probably. It’s like how their lawyers wear those funny wigs.”
After class, everyone wanted photos standing next to Taylor in his robe. He laughed while posing and his students encouraged him to wear the robe for every lecture. They continued to remind him until he promised to wear it once per week.
“It makes everything you say sound more official,” one student told him.
Soon, Taylor was wearing the robe to every lecture. It no longer felt awkward or strange and his students seemed to show him even greater respect. In late November, he shared his new teaching secret with Morteza and Amir.
“You’ve both got robes. Wear them to class and I promise your students will think it’s cool.”
“What are we supposed to say when they ask why?”
“Tell them you’re trying something new. You were watching a Harry Potter movie. They’ll understand.”
Morteza and Amir found their robes and wore them to class. Morteza mentioned Harry Potter. Amir did not provide any explanation. Many of their students also had Taylor for thermodynamics so the robe wearing did not come as a huge surprise.
The semester ended and Taylor eagerly looked up his student evaluation scores. His numerical ratings were his best ever. Nearly half the class left written comments with positive things to say about his robe. Taylor read some of them to Morteza and Amir.
“The robe looked weird at first, but I liked it more and more. You should keep it. It made you look and sound smarter.”
“Kind of funny how they fixated on the robe,” Morteza said.
“This has got to be the easiest way ever to increase student ratings,” Taylor replied. “Put on the robe. Boom, up go your scores.”
All three of the young professors wore robes on their first day of classes in the new semester. Taylor explained to his students that he was following a recommendation from his previous class and the robe made it obvious who the teacher was.
Taylor was sincere when he quietly mentioned the robe to other colleagues in the faculty hallway. They usually chuckled and waited for the punchline to a joke, but Taylor assured them he was serious. The robe was a hit with a classroom audience. Anyone could read his online reviews on Rate My Professor, which included positive mentions of the robe.
Taylor was equally sincere when he decided to wear the robe to a special faculty meeting. Once a month, the mechanical engineering professors joined together for an open forum to share success stories or crazy ideas. Taylor was the first one to stand up when the meeting began.
“This started off as something I did for Halloween, but it proved to be so effective, I’ve kept doing it. I wear my graduation robe to lectures. Students thought it was funny at first, but now the robe is something they respect. It’s great for student ratings. I’d like to recommend that we all wear them while we lecture.”
Professor Brooks, the most outspoken member of The Three Wizards, stared at Taylor with a dangerous smile. He was the first to voice a reaction. “I can’t tell if you’re serious or joking.”
“I’m serious. You can ask Morteza and Amir. They’re doing it too.”
“I remember a meeting a few months ago when I suggested we wear ties. You said it didn’t matter how we dressed. Now you’re telling us we should wear a graduation robe. Seems like you’re trying to ridicule me.”
“I’m not ridiculing anyone.”
“We’ll see who gets the last laugh when we vote on your tenure.”
Taylor gulped and suddenly realized how silly he looked. How could he stand there advocating for robes when he had destroyed the tie suggestion? It was no wonder Professor Brooks thought he was being mocked. Taylor realized he was in real trouble of being embarrassed and damaging his career. Old professors with wounded egos held grudges.
Taylor whispered in panic to Morteza and Amir, “Come on guys, help me out.”
To Taylor’s great surprise, Amir stood up and uttered his first words in any faculty meeting. “Okay, I have to tell you that Taylor is only joking. He is wearing his robe because he lost a bet. He thought LSU was going to lose their bowl game in American football.”
Professor Brooks looked stunned. “You bet against LSU? They beat Purdue 63 to 7.”
The tension in the room melted into laughter. Lots of voices had something to say about LSU football and how the young faculty members had a lot to learn. Taylor sat down and smiled like he had been caught taking too much dessert after dinner.
“Thanks Amir,” Taylor whispered. “That was the perfect thing to say. I didn’t know if you were paying attention.”
Amir nodded and returned his focus to his laptop.
Taylor unzipped his robe and wiggled his arms out of the sleeves. He would have to think long and hard about whether he should keep wearing it to class.
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