April 19, 2021 – San Bernardino, CA, USA
“Try to forget about the city and your apartment,” Mia said to her friend, Jessica. “Doesn’t the air smell fresher?”
“Why did I let you talk me into this?” replied Jessica. “I’ve been saying no for like three years.”
“You’re going to thank me before this is all over,” said Mia as she and Jessica unloaded the back of her car.
“Where do these go?” asked Jessica, holding up one bag containing a tent and the other a sleeping bag.
“Stack everything on the picnic table until we figure out where to set up the tents,” said Mia.
“I can’t believe you have enough stuff so that Kent and I can have our own tent,” replied Jessica, returning to the car for more supplies.
“It took me a while to build my inventory. Like I told you, I kept returning stuff to the store after trying it out. But once I knew what I liked, I bought too much of it. Hey, so let me see your Camelback backpack.”
Jessica pulled the backpack from the trunk. It came equipped with a water bladder, hose, and mouthpiece. The signs in the sporting goods store claimed it was perfect for long hikes.
Mia examined the pack with approval. “Pretty nice. But you didn’t see anything else in the store you wanted? A lantern? Portable fridge?”
“No, not really. And you’re sure I can take it back?” asked Jessica.
“Every time I’ve tried it, they’ve taken stuff back as long as it still looks new,” said Mia with a satisfied smile.
Mia had been pestering Jessica about this particular camping trip for two months. Mia kept saying it was going to be a great chance to get out of the house and away from all the Covid pandemic lockdowns they had been living with. Mia was going to handle all the planning, buy all the food, and supply all the camping gear. Jessica finally broke down and agreed to go. Her boyfriend, Kent, was excited to be included. In total, three couples made the trip, in two separate cars, from San Bernardino to the nearby San Gabriel mountains.
When the group arrived at their reserved campsite, Mia took charge and gave everyone a job. The three guys were supposed to find good spots for tents and then clear rocks and pinecones from the ground. Mia unfolded tarps and tent poles in preparation for getting the tents popped up. Jessica and their friend, Katie, followed Mia’s instructions.
“Looks like Kent’s having a good time,” Mia said to Jessica after watching Kent toss pinecones from a tent site.
“Oh yeah. He keeps telling me he loves this kind of thing,” said Jessica. “He’s been bugging me about camping and hiking as much as you.”
“You keep saying you wanted him to commit,” said Mia with a laugh. “Maybe this is what he’s been waiting for. Now that you’re all outdoorsy, nothing’s holding him back.”
Jessica shook her head. “I just hope he doesn’t wake up when I drive off in the middle of the night to sleep in my own bed.”
“No way, girl. You’re sticking it out with the rest of us,” replied Mia, laughing. “At least long enough to show off your new Camelback. Kent will be impressed.”
“He’s already seen it,” said Jessica. “He was like a little kid opening up all the pockets and playing with the zippers. I think he wanted me to play with them too, but I’m not sure how excited I can get about a backpack.”
After the tents were set up, Mia would have liked to send everyone in search of firewood. The weather had been very dry, however, so the campground’s fire restrictions left them cooking on a propane stove and sitting around a lantern instead of a fire.
“Sorry guys. This isn’t the same,” said Mia to the group. “S’mores are better when you cook the marshmallows over a real fire.”
“It’s better than nothing,” said Kent, trying to sound upbeat. “And we don’t have to worry about smoke in our faces.”
“You got any ghost stores, Kent?” asked Mia.
“I can tell the one my grandpa always told when we were camping.”
Kent tried to make his voice sound mysterious and spooky as he told a story about a hunter who got lost in the woods and had to hide from a bear, wolf, and mountain lion. Then the hunter found a group of campers. The story concluded with an attempt at a jump scare as Kent yelled out, “There he is!” Everyone but Jessica laughed. She told Kent it was not funny and did not appreciate being in the wilderness in the dark.
After the fireside chatter was over, Mia led Jessica to the bathroom. There was only cold water available for hand and face washing.
“I feel like I’ve gone back in time,” Jessica complained. “I’m going to look like a horror show tomorrow morning. What am I supposed to do about hair and makeup?”
“Kent’s seen you without makeup before,” said Mia.
“Not for very long,” replied Jessica.
On their way back to the campsite, Mia pointed out all the bright stars overhead. Jessica swatted at the bugs attracted to Mia’s lantern and said she did not care about stars. She spent the night first too hot and then too cold in the borrowed sleeping bag. The wind kept blowing on the tent and making it flutter. She felt claustrophobic and exposed at the same time. She would have sworn that she did not sleep at all. As soon as it was light outside, she heard Mia moving around and Jessica only wanted to keep her eyes closed.
“Rise and shine! I made breakfast!” Mia eventually called while shaking Jessica’s tent.
“I don’t want any. I just want to go home,” answered Jessica.
She protested and wanted to be left alone, but eventually she had no choice but to cover her hair with a hat and stumble out into the morning sunlight. Instead of getting in the car, she also had to join the hike Mia had planned along a mountain trail.
Kent continued to sound encouraging. “This is perfect for your new Camelback. You definitely won’t get thirsty. Have you checked out all the pocket’s yet?”
“No. What is it with you and the pockets?” answered Jessica.
The group eventually reached a peak with a panoramic view of more mountains. Way off in the distance, the first hints of houses and civilization were visible. Jessica would not agree with the others that the view made the hike worthwhile.
“I could drive somewhere and see the same thing if I wanted,” she argued.
When they all returned to their camp, Jessica let Kent and the others do most of the cleanup and tent folding. She was eager to get back into her apartment when the long drive down the mountain was over and Kent finally dropped her off.
“I had a lot of fun,” Kent said eagerly. “I was thinking we could do it again soon. Maybe not the camping part, just the hiking part. That was okay, wasn’t it?”
“I don’t see why you have to drive into the wilderness to walk around,” replied Jessica. “I don’t mind walking around in a park or at the beach. Why can’t we do that?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel the same,” said Kent. “Will you please think about it after you’ve taken a shower?”
Jessica was antsy to get inside. “Yeah, yeah. Maybe we can go,” she said so that Kent would drop the subject.
“Okay. Put your Camelback in a safe place,” said Kent before Jessica shut the car door.
A long shower and a restful night’s sleep did not change Jessica’s mind about a future hike. If Kent wanted to go for a long walk, it needed to be close to restaurants and bathrooms with warm water. She decided she needed to ditch the Camelback to discourage Kent from any more nature treks.
Jessica had followed Mia’s advice and kept her receipt. That afternoon, she grabbed the receipt and the Camelback backpack and drove to the sporting goods store, intent on getting a refund. She walked inside and found the first available cashier.
“I’d like to return this,” Jessica announced, dropping the backpack and receipt on the counter.
The high-school-aged cashier took one look at the backpack and asked, “Is there something wrong with it?”
“No. I just decided I don’t want it.”
The cashier picked up the backpack and inspected it. “Uh oh. It looks like you filled the bladder with water and broke the seal on the mouthpiece.”
“Yeah, so?” asked Jessica.
“Unless something is defective, you can’t return these once you’ve used them,” explained the cashier. “Sanitation reasons.”
“But I barely used it,” replied Jessica in a pleading voice. “I don’t want it.”
“I’m sorry,” replied the cashier. “That’s the store’s policy.”
“That’s a stupid policy,” replied Jessica sharply.
The cashier only shrugged and Jessica yanked the backpack and receipt off the counter and stomped toward the exit. Before she reached the door, she looked back to see another employee walking up to the counter where she had just been. The new employee changed places with the original cashier and Jessica realized there had just been a shift change. She kept walking to her car.
Jessica now wanted to get rid of the backpack more than ever. She did not want it around, reminding Kent of more hikes and she wanted to stick it to the store for having such an annoying return policy. Once she was sitting in her car, she looked through her glove compartment and center console for something sharp. After some sifting, she found a pin that had once been used for attaching messages to her kitchen bulletin board.
Jessica smiled wickedly and pulled the water bladder out of the backpack. At the very bottom of the bladder, she pushed the pin into the rubbery material. She pulled out the pin and pushed it into a second spot, just to be sure. She stuffed the bladder back into the backpack and returned to the store.
The employee who had replaced the original cashier was a young guy with a goatee. As Jessica walked up to the counter, the new cashier did not seem to recognize her. “I’d like to return this. It’s got a hole in it,” she announced.
“A hole?” asked the cashier. “Where?”
“In the bottom.”
“That’s weird. These things are usually solid.”
The cashier acted confused when he handed the backpack off to another employee who specialized in camping gear. The second employee put water in the bladder and confirmed that water was indeed leaking from two holes at the bottom.
“What happened?” the camping specialist asked Jessica.
“Nothing. It came that way,” she replied.
The store employees decided they would have to refund Jessica’s money and return the defective backpack to the manufacturer. Jessica walked out of the store wearing a satisfied smile.
Two days later, Kent was over at Jessica’s apartment. He again brought up the idea of a hike. “Where did you put your Camelback?”
“Why are you so obsessed with that thing?” replied Jessica.
“I thought you liked it. You’re going to need it to stay hydrated on our next adventure.”
“No. I don’t want any more outdoor adventures. That’s why I got rid of it.”
“You what?” cried Kent, jumping up from the couch.
“I returned it. Sorry. What’s the big deal? We can go on beach walks instead of hikes.”
“You took it back to the store? Did you ever look through the pockets?” asked Kent with a pained look on his face.
“No. Why are you freaking out? It was just a backpack.”
“Oh, I’m such an idiot!” cried Kent. “I wanted to surprise you. You’ve been saying how much you wanted me to take the final step. Well, I bought a ring and hid it in one of those pockets when you weren’t looking. When you found it, I was going to propose. It was supposed to be romantic.”
“What? You were going to propose?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted? And you say you love surprises. Why didn’t you look in the pockets like I said?”
Jessica was too shocked and disappointed to respond graciously. “What did it look like? Where did you buy it? Why did you hide it someplace I would never look?”
“I told you to look there. And I wanted it to be a surprise. So anyway, surprise!” Kent replied angrily. “We can’t just sit here. We have to find it.”
Kent and Jessica raced to the sporting goods store. Jessica did the talking when they reached a cashier. “I returned a Camelback backpack two days ago but I made a mistake. I need it back.”
The cashier asked for Jessica’s name and phone number and slowly pulled up a record of the refund.
“Says here it was defective,” said the cashier.
“I know, but I still want it,” replied Jessica.
“I don’t know if we can do that.”
“Please, I want to talk to the manager,” Jessica cried out.
When the manager arrived, Jessica and Kent both confessed that the backpack contained an engagement ring that had been hidden as a surprise. The manger acted sympathetic and agreed to look in the back of the store to see if she could find it. She returned looking grim.
“Looks like we barely sent off a package of defective items,” said the manager. “They get thrown together at a distributor and they finally go to the manufacturer.”
“You can’t call someone? You didn’t look in the pockets?” shouted Jessica.
“I’m not sure who to call,” said the manager. “And we don’t usually search any pockets.”
“What am I supposed to do?” cried Jessica.
“Maybe you could call Camelback,” suggested the manager. “They might track it down. It will probably be an unusual case for them because those bladders don’t usually leak like that.”
“It started leaking?” asked Kent in agitation. “It seemed fine on the hike. What happened?”
Jessica covered her face with her hands and sobbed. If she said another word, the only person left feeling sorry for her would be herself.
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