Kite Fall
KATE FALL – August 2, 2023 – Cape Disappointment, Washington, USA
Kris held Lavender’s hand as they stared through the airplane’s window. The ground beneath them was covered in green forests and growing ever closer as they descended. The couple had been together over a year and Kris finally decided it was time for Lavender to meet his parents.
“You’re still cool, right? Not nervous?” Kris asked with a smile.
Lavender replied, “You told me I didn’t need to be nervous.” She left it at that, but she wanted to add that she was thirty-three and had met other boyfriends’ parents before.
“Right. No need to be nervous,” Kris continued. “But before we land, can I ask you if you’ve got any weird phobias I don’t know about?”
“That’s a weird question. Why are you asking that now?”
“Well, there’s something about my mom. You’ll see that she’s great and everything, but she has a way of obsessing over little things. If you’ve got any funny little hangups she sniffs them out and won’t let them go.”
Lavender tensed up. “Weird phobias? I think I’m scared of the same things most people are. I’m lactose intolerant, but you already know that.”
“That’s not really a fear, but we should keep that hidden as long as we can. When my mom finds out, she won’t shut up about it.”
“And I guess I have a fear of heights sometimes.”
“You do?”
“It comes and goes. Maybe if I’m in a tall building or something.”
“It shouldn’t be a problem. I can’t see us visiting any tall buildings.”
“And maybe there is one more thing. Kites.”
“Did you say kites?”
“Yeah, kites.”
“You’re afraid of kites?”
“I get this feeling they’ll come off their string and hit me right in the head.”
Kris chuckled and Lavender punched him in the arm. “I guess that could be a real problem, but I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that one either. Anything else?”
“Even if there was, I’m not telling you. You’ve got me all self-conscious.”
Lavender spent the rest of the flight worrying about first impressions. When she and Kris landed at the Salem, Oregon airport, Kris’s parents were there to greet them. Marvin and Laurene seemed friendly enough and acted genuinely happy to meet Lavender.
The group drove directly to Marvin’s favorite restaurant for dinner. Lavender ordered something dairy-free from the menu and then Marvin wanted to make plans for the visit.
“Have you ever seen the Pacific coastline this far north?” he asked Lavender.
“No. Only in California.”
“Oh, then you have to see it. How about we drive up tomorrow?”
“Sure,” Lavender replied, and Kris agreed with her.
“You’ll love it,” Marvin said eagerly. Then he tried to decide how early in the morning they could leave.
Laurene was mostly quiet and Lavender wondered if Kris was exaggerating about the way she pried and pestered. Then their food arrived. Kris took two forkfuls of salad while his mother watched.
“Still afraid of biting into rocks aren’t you,” she said to Kris.
“No,” Kris replied with a shake of his head.
Laurene turned to Lavender with an explanation. “When he was younger, he was eating green-bean casserole and crunched down on a little piece of dirt. He’s been afraid of chewing ever since.”
“No, I haven’t. It was a one-time thing.”
Kris tried to ignore any fears of crunching something unexpectedly hard, but his mom had already planted the idea. He found himself carefully nibbling. Lavender did the same thing and for the first time in her life worried about rocks in her food.
Laureen could not let go of the topic. She talked about food preparation and how dirt might make its way onto a plate. On the drive home from the restaurant, she remembered how Kris could not sleep without a light on and how he would only ride on the left side of a car. Kris denied he had either little mental hangup, but once they were pointed out, Lavender realized they truly were part of Kris’s behavioral quirks. He was obviously annoyed by the way his mom fixated on them, but he did not ask her to change the subject. For the rest of the evening, Lavender avoided eye contact with Laurene, dreading the moment the woman found any glitch in her personality.
The next morning, Marvin was happy to announce that the weather was clear and they would have great views during their Pacific sightseeing trip. Everyone got in the car – with Kris taking the left side of the backseat – and Marvin drove west toward the ocean. Along the way, he pointed out farmland surrounded by dark woods and described the crops being grown. They reached the town of Tillamook and Marvin pulled the car into the Tillamook Cheese Factory.
“Why are we stopping here?” Kris asked.
“Everyone stops here,” Marvin replied. “They show you exactly how cheese is made. Fascinating stuff. And they give out free samples.”
Kris gave Lavender a worried look before saying, “We already know how cheese is made.”
“Come one. It’s fun and it won’t take long,” Marvin answered.
As they walked past the windows showing a cheese processing and packaging assembly line, Lavender struggled with whether she should announce her lactose intolerance or try to keep it secret. She had decided on the secret option by the time the group walked past a sample counter with packaged slices of cheese. Lavender took one and nonchalantly slipped it in her pocket.
“Aren’t you going to eat your cheese?” Laurene asked.
Lavender stammered like she had been caught shoplifting. “I’ll save it for later.”
“It’s best when it’s fresh. This isn’t the kind of cheese you want to keep in your pocket.”
“It’s okay. I’m not hungry right now.”
“Only takes a couple of bites to try it.”
Lavender could tell Laurene was not going to let the cheese sampling drop. She could either eat the cheese and spend the rest of the day with a stomachache or confess. “The thing is, I’m lactose intolerant. I can’t really eat it.”
Laurene’s eyes grew wide, as if she was looking at an injured baby deer. “I’m sorry. So you can’t taste any of the cheese or the ice cream?”
“Not without feeling miserable.”
“Are you sure it’s something in your stomach and not in your head?”
Laurene’s list of questions grew as she followed Lavender around the cheese themed gift shop. She insisted on buying Lavender a stuffed figure of a cheese stick so she could enjoy something from the factory.
Back in the car, Laurene wanted to know about pills Lavender could take and whether she was getting enough calcium. Marvin did his best to change the subject. They reached the coastline and he pointed out the offshore rock formations in the dark water. He knew the history of the fishing villages with storm battered homes climbing up the green hillsides. But during any break in his narration, Laurene was quick to share more opinions about dairy products.
“We have to get up to Washington,” Marvin insisted. “On a day like today, the views will be amazing.” He stopped in Astoria for a quick lunch and then drove across the 3 ½ mile bridge linking Oregon to Washington. “They made the bridge this high so ships could move up and down the Columbia,” Marvin explained.
Lavender looked down from the narrow bridge at the fast-moving water below. She was suddenly gripped by a fear of the car veering to the right and flying over the guardrails. She squeezed Kris’s hand and stared straight ahead, hoping Laurene did not notice her panic. Up front, the conversation topics remained cheese and the scenery.
When they reached Washington, Marvin eagerly said, “You’ve got to see Cape Disappointment. In this weather, it’ll be the opposite of disappointing.” He drove another ten miles to the start of a hiking trail. “It’s a bit of a walk. Hope that’s okay.”
Lavender and Kris were happy to get out of the car and put a little distance between themselves and Kris’s parents. They climbed half a mile through the dense forest and found a lighthouse standing on top of a cliff. Lavender glanced at the ocean below and once again had the unexpected fear of falling toward the water. She backed away from the fence protecting visitors from the cliff’s edge. It was hard to hide the terrified look on her face.
“Are you feeling okay?” Laurene asked.
“I’m fine.”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Is it the height that’s scaring you?”
“Maybe a little. I’m not sure why I’m feeling this way.”
“Well, stay on the hiking trail and away from the fence. How far up can you be without being scared? Maybe we should go back.”
Lavender tried to wave away Laurene’s concerns, but it did not work. On the return hike, Laurene said, “The day’s only half over and we’ve already learned two of your anxieties. How many more to go?”
Kris tried to defend Lavender by saying, “Lactose intolerance is not an anxiety.”
“Yes, I suppose it’s in your stomach and not your head,” Laurene answered.
“Don’t worry, we’ll stay low from here on out,” Marvin interjected. “How would you like to see the longest beach in the world?”
They returned to the car and Marvin drove directly to the city of Long Beach while Laurene rambled about cheese and heights. A road toward the ocean passed under a sign that read, “The Longest Beach in the World.” Marvin drove onto the black and tan colored sand, which had been well packed by previous traffic. He parked near a dozen other cars.
While the sky above Cape Disappointment had been clear and blue, the beach sky was gray. A mist obscured the ocean and the grass covered sand dunes. Lavender opened her door and instantly felt the temperature drop by twenty degrees. A hard and constant wind blew parallel to the coastline.
“We should have brought coats!” Marvin shouted over the wind.
Lavender did not mind the cool temperatures. She stepped from the car, eager to get closer to the water. Then she froze. She had not noticed them before because of the mist, but several groups of people flew acrobatic kites in the powerful wind. Each kite was attached to two strings to control its direction.
Lavender backed up toward the car and gestured toward Kris in dismay. “This is like a bad dream. Why did it have to be kites? I’m not getting anywhere close to them!”
Kris winced. “Right. I forgot about your kite thing.”
“I’ll wait in the car.”
“What am I supposed to tell my parents?”
“I don’t care. Tell them anything you want.”
Lavender returned to the car’s backseat and closed her door. Kris was unsure whether he should return and sit beside her, but he decided he needed to let his parents know the situation. They had walked toward the kite fliers and Kris hurried to catch up.
“Where Lavender?” Laurene asked.
“She went back to the car.”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s not a big deal, but she’s a little afraid of kites.”
“Afraid of kites? Is there anything she’s not afraid of?” A dark look clouded Laurene’s face. “Don’t you think it’s strange she has so many hangups?”
“She doesn’t. She only has three. What’s strange is you happened to find them all so quickly.”
Laurene remained skeptical. “How much do you know about Lavender? Or I should say, what else don’t you know about her?”
“I know everything about Lavender. You don’t need to worry about her hiding anything.”
“Imagine being afraid of kites. What in the world could be more harmless?”
At that moment, one of the nearby kite fliers lost his grip on a kite’s string. It fluttered and flapped before plunging toward the ground. Kris did not have a chance to yell, “Duck!” before the kite his mother squarely in the back. She lurched forward from the impact and fell face first onto the sand.
“Mom! Are you alright?” Kris shouted. He bent over and helped her to her feet.
The kite flier ran over and repeatedly apologized for being clumsy. Laurene stayed quiet as she wiped sand from her entire body. Then she realized other kites still floated above her and she hurried back to the car. Lavender watched the whole thing but when Laurene got inside the car with her, neither said a word.
Kris and Marvin eventually returned from their walk on the sand. Kris smiled at Lavender and said, “This trip sure has been full of surprises.”
Marvin did most of the talking on their way back to Salem. He still had plenty to say about scenery and historical events. Laurene seemed to appreciate the narration and completely forgot about cheese, heights, or kites. When Marvin needed to concentrate on the road, Kris interrupted the silence to brag about Lavender. According to him, she knew exactly when to laugh and when to keep her thoughts to herself. It was only one of her many strengths. They outnumbered any of her weaknesses by at least ten to one.
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