Birkin Bag

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Birkin Bag

BIRKIN BAG – June 5, 2025 – Wilmington, Delaware, USA

            The toaster-sized cardboard box arrived with “Happy Birthday” written on the top in magic marker.  The return address listed Houston, Texas.  Tania Mistry ripped into the box without a moment’s hesitation.  From under the packing paper, she pulled out a Birkin handbag made with soft black leather and silver clasps.  She instantly recognized the design and the Hermès Paris logo.

Birkin Bag in a Box - Caption for Birkin Bag
Birkin Bag in a Box – Caption for Birkin Bag

            Although she did not own one, Tania was an expert on expensive handbags.  She could spot one from across the room.  She admired pictures of them posted on product websites.  When passing an expensive boutique shop, she loved slipping inside to admire any bags on display.

            Tania already knew the bag she pulled from the box was worth at least $10,000.  When she opened the bag’s top flap, she found a handwritten note from her ex-husband, Raymond.

            “Happy Birthday.  I know you’ve wanted one of these for a long time.”

            Tania grinned and fished around to find out the bag was otherwise empty.  She admired the stitching and the signature handle.  There was no doubt it was genuine and not a cheap knockoff.  “If only Raymond would have been this generous when we were married,” Tania thought to herself.  She knew his main motivation for sending the bag was showing off that he was doing well financially.  The gesture was also a reminder that maybe their divorce had been a little premature.

            After Tania walked to her closet and held the handbag next to some of her favorite outfits, she suddenly realized she would never be able to explain it to her current husband, Nolan.  Nolan remained unapologetically paranoid about her relationship with Raymond.  Nolan had also been divorced before meeting Tania and never seemed to recover from the hurt and insecurity.  If Raymond called to talk to Tania about the rental property they jointly owned, Nolan suspiciously asked about every little thing Raymond said.

            “It’s no big deal,” Tania tried to tell him.  “We’re just talking business.”  When she contemplated the gift handbag, she could not imagine a way to shrug it off to Nolan as “just business”.  It was a definite signal of affection and Nolan was sure to invent some wild story about how she still had feelings for Raymond and was planning to return to him.

            If she was being honest with herself, Tania had to admit she liked her ex-husband’s attention.  But that needed to stay buried deep inside her.  There was no way she could keep a $10,000 bag from Raymond.  What a pity.  What a tragedy!  She really liked the bag.  No, she loved the bag.  It was perfect.  If she was given $10,000 to spend on herself, that handbag is exactly what she would choose.  She craved being seen with it.  Those who appreciated style like she did would instantly recognize its value.  She had to find a way to keep it without Nolan knowing it came from Raymond.

            Tania did some of her best thinking while in yoga poses.  She got out her mat and stretched.  While sitting cross-legged, a brilliantly simple plan came to her.  By the time she met Nolan after work, she had it all worked out in her head and was ready for the big reveal.

Planning During a Yoga Pose - Caption for Birkin Bag
Planning During a Yoga Pose – Caption for Birkin Bag

            “I scrolled through Facebook Marketplace for a few minutes and you’ll never guess what I found today,” Tania said innocently to her husband.

            “Don’t make me guess.  Just tell me.”

            “Someone is selling an expensive bag for way less than it’s worth.  I don’t think they know what it is.”

            “But you do?”

            “Oh yeah.  I recognized it right away.  I talked to them and offered $200.  I figured it was worth the gamble.”

            “Isn’t that a lot for a purse?”

            Tania laughed sweetly.  “Oh honey, I know you don’t understand my bag obsession.  But if I’m right, $200 will be the deal of the century.  I’m picking it up tomorrow.”

            “They aren’t shipping it to you?”

            “No, they live in Wilmington.  I’ll pick it up at their house.”

            Nolan frowned and made a sound like he had bitten into a bitter cucumber.  “I’ve read about Facebook Marketplace scams.  They can be dangerous.  They lure you someplace and rob you.  I don’t think you should go.”

            Tania nervously replied, “But I really want the bag.”

            “Then I’ll get it for you.  I’ll feel a lot better that way.  What’s the address?”

            “You don’t have to do that.  I’ll be fine.  Don’t worry so much.”

            “I’d never forgive myself if something bad happened.  I can’t let you go.  What’s the address?”

            “Well, I don’t have it yet,” Tania answered in a flustered voice.  “You know, maybe we could go together.  You could wait in the car just in case.”

            “No, I want to do this for you.  Especially if they want cash, which I assume they do.  I’ll stop by tomorrow after work.  Just send me the address when you get it.”

            Nolan continued to insist he would pick up the lucky find.  Tania tried arguing, but was afraid to push very far and arouse his suspicions.  In the end, she agreed to send him the address as soon as she had it the next day.

            For the rest of the night and next morning, Tania’s mind scrambled to think up a place Nolan could go for the pickup.  If she had not been so eager to start using the handbag, she may have claimed the deal fell through and invented a new story for how she got the bag.  But she was determined to make this story work.  All she needed was someone in Wilmington to act as the go between – someone Nolan did not know.

            Tania searched her memory banks for the time before she met her new husband.  Who had she not talked with in years but might be willing to do her a favor?  She called up Lana Vlasov, a woman she knew when working as a receptionist.  After being pleasantly surprised Lana’s number still worked, Tania exchanged two-minutes’ worth of catching-up pleasantries.  Then she got down to business.

            “Would you be willing to do me a favor and make a little money along the way?”

            “Depends on the favor and the money,” Lana answered in a raspy voice.

            “It’ll be the easiest 200 bucks you’ve ever made.  Let me come over and explain.”

            Tania drove directly to Lana’s duplex in a rundown neighborhood west of downtown Wilmington.  She hurried past the rusting cars in the driveway to find Lana looking like she had aged twenty years instead of ten.

            “Someone’s going to show up here in a few hours.  All I need you to do is hand him this.”  Tania revealed the Birkin bag inside a cardboard box without any markings.  “The man will give you $200.  You can keep the money.”

            “Who’s the guy coming by?” Lana asked suspiciously.

            “He doesn’t matter.  The less you know about all this the better.  Just give him the bag and take the money.”

            “How illegal is this?”

            “It’s not illegal at all.  It’s just a complicated situation and better if you don’t know the details.”

            Lana chuckled and grunted like she understood and had been part of many equally shady deals.

            Tania added, “If he asks where you got the bag, tell him you found it somewhere.  Keep the details vague.  And don’t mention anything about me.”

            Lana nodded.  “You wanna come in for a drink or something?”

            “Nah, I’ve got to get going.  But I really appreciate this.”

            Tania left Lana’s doorstep as her old acquaintance carefully looked over the bag.  Tania did not dare look back.  As soon as she drove away from the neighborhood, she texted Lana’s address to Nolan along with a message.

            “Everything’s all set.  She’s expecting $200.  Fingers crossed.”

            Tania felt approximately 100 misgivings per hour while she waited to hear anything from her husband.  She paced the floor, nibbled at her fingernails, and scrolled social media hoping to take her mind off what was happening in west Wilmington.  There were so many ways it could go wrong.  What if Lana got chatty?  What if she already knew Nolan?  What if she simply decided to keep the bag?  Tania had been very hasty to trust someone she barely remembered.

            Nolan was habitually predictable, so when he did not show up when expected, Tania’s worry accelerated.  She recalculated how long it might take him to make the diversion to Lana’s house and he was very behind even the most generous schedule.  Tania finally texted.

            “Everything okay?  Did you find the place?”

            Nolan replied immediately.  “All good.  Coming home with the bag.”

            Tania exhaled for a long minute and then smiled to herself.  This was going to work.  She heard Nolan arrive and met him at the door.  He wore an equally satisfied grin and carried the cardboard box Tania had left with Lana.

            “You got it?”

            “Here it is.  You want to close your eyes while I pull it out?”

            “No, just show it to me.”

            Nolan unveiled a black leather bag with silver clasps but it was not the Birkin.  Tania knew instantly this was a Kate Spade bag worth about $200 at any department store.

            “I think it looks great!” Nolan chirped before looking at his wife.  Her face appeared to be tearing itself in two, partially trying to smile while also suppressing a scream.  “Is anything wrong?  Is this what you were expecting?”

            “It’s great.  Yeah, it really is great.  But I guess it’s not quite what I was expecting.”

            “It’s not the steal of the century, or whatever you called it?”

            “It’s a nice bag, don’t get me wrong.  But it’s worth about $200.”

            Nolan’s face fell as he sighed.  Then he perked up and said, “But if you look on the bright side, at least we didn’t lose any money.  And since you like the bag, I was hoping you could consider it your birthday present from me.  I’m always afraid I’ll choose something you don’t like.  This way, I know you’ll be happy with it.”

            “Yeah.  Okay,” Tania answered in a completely distracted voice.  “This is definitely the bag the woman gave you?”

            “Yeah, of course.  What other bag would it be?”

            Tania put on her brightest fake smile.  “Thanks for picking it up.  It really is great.  But I’ve had a long day.  My head is killing me.  I need to go lie down in a dark room for a while.”

            “Sure.  Whatever you need.”

            Tania escaped into their bedroom and then into her walk-in closet.  She turned out the lights, shut the door, and laid on the floor in complete darkness.  Her head truly was spinning.  Now she needed a plan to confront Lana and get the Birkin bag back.  Her old buddy must have switched it out for the Kate Spade.  But why?  Why not simply keep the Birkin and refuse to answer her door when Nolan showed up? 

           Tania wondered if she had a legal case against Lana.  Was there any way to prove she had given her the bag?  And how was she ever going to clear all this up without Nolan finding out?  He naively thought she appreciated the Kate Spade, but how could she after handling the Birkin?

            The next morning, Tania left her house early with plans to directly confront Lana.  As she drove along the major road that took her into west Wilmington, she decided she needed an energy boost before the confrontation.  She pulled into a corner shop selling coffee and smoothies.  She grabbed the Kate Spade bag holding her credit cards.

            When Tania walked through the front door, she instantly recognized someone standing near the counter and waiting for an order.  Kandice.  Nolan’s ex-wife.  She wore sunglasses inside and looked especially smug and self-satisfied.

Rival at a Smoothie Shop - Caption for Birkin Bag
Rival at a Smoothie Shop – Caption for Birkin Bag

            And then Tania saw it there hanging from Kandice’s arm.  The Birkin bag.  Black with silver straps and an unmistakable style.  Tania was sure she had handed that exact bag over to Lana.  Now she stood in terrified confusion.

            Kandice picked up a smoothie cup and traipsed toward the door.  As she walked past Tania, she robotically said, “Oh hello.  How are you?”  She continued walking without waiting for an answer.

            Tania remained frozen without screaming the thousand questions exploding in her head.  The first one would have been, “Have you seen Nolan lately?”  She was not sure who to blame.  She left the smoothie shop without a drink and watched the Birkin bag drive off without her.

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