March 30, 2018 – Somerville, Massachusetts, USA
Dr. Trapnell handed Norah Simms her brand new retainer as if he was turning over the keys to a new car. He always liked to give his patients a personal sendoff and provide some warnings and encouragement. His examination room, where he usually did his lecturing, was painted a blinding white and covered in posters advertising Trapnell Orthodontics.
“You need to keep that retainer in all the time, except when you’re eating,” said Dr. Trapnell. “Go ahead and try it.”
Thirteen-year-old Norah nodded her head and put the retainer in her mouth. Then she scrunched up her nose and moved her jaw up and down.
“It will feel a little strange at first,” said Dr. Trapnell. “But you’ll get used to it. We can’t put on your braces until we move those top teeth around.”
“And you think she’ll need the retainer for five or six months?” asked Norah’s mom, who was sitting beside her.
“That should be about right, as long as she keeps it in. No leaving it out at night or taking breaks from it.” Dr. Trapnell gave Norah a friendly but serious smile. “If you want beautiful teeth, you need to put in the effort.”
On the way home from the orthodontist’s office, Norah’s mom repeated the instructions. “You heard him. You’ve got to take care of that retainer and keep it in.”
“I know, Mom,” said Norah, her voice sounding like she had something new stuck in her mouth.
When they get home, they found Norah’s dad waiting for them.
“Well, she’s got it in. Show your dad.”
Norah pulled her hair away from her face and was about to stick her fingers in her mouth and pull out the retainer.
“No wait, I forgot!” cried Norah’s mom. “She’s not supposed to take it out unless she’s eating. I don’t want her getting in the habit of taking it out and showing people. Just open up your mouth and let your dad look inside.”
“I don’t want Dad looking in my mouth.”
“Just open really quick.”
Norah made a face like she was being tortured, but she opened her mouth wide and her dad took a quick peek at her upper teeth.
“So that’s what I’m paying all the money for,” said her dad. “I hope you appreciate having straight teeth.”
“I do. But it’s not like I’m the only one in my school who gets braces.”
Norah’s dad wanted to say something in reply but he knew it would only lead to an argument. The only way to avoid Norah shouting things like, “You’re always mad,” and “Why do you hate me so much?” was simply to keep his mouth shut.
During the first week with the retainer, Norah did a good job of remembering her visit with Dr. Trapnell. Whenever she took it out to eat or brush her teeth, she popped it right back into place as soon as she was done.
Then the novelty wore off. Fussing with the retainer became a chore, like putting away her laundry or making her bed. And even if her retainer was specially made for her, most of her friends had worn them before. Having one was no big deal. After she ate breakfast and dinner at home, her mom had to remind her to put the retainer back in her mouth.
And then, two weeks after the visit to Trapnell Orthodontics, Norah returned home from school without the retainer.
“What do you mean you lost it? How could you lose it?” cried her mom.
“If I knew, it wouldn’t be lost.”
“Where did you last have it?”
“I think in the P.E. locker room. Sometimes I take it out when I get a drink. I like to rinse it off. I must have forgotten to put it back in.”
“Well did you look for it?”
“Yeah. My friends helped too. But we didn’t find it. Don’t be mad. It was an accident.”
Norah went through the same explanation when her dad arrived home. He groaned but kept his jaw clenched so he could not say anything critical.
“So now what?” he asked Norah’s mom.
“I guess we go back to the orthodontist and get another one.”
“It won’t cost us extra, will it? They must have some kind of insurance policy where they replace a lost retainer.”
“I would hope so.”
Norah and her mom returned to Trapnell Orthodontics the next day and Norah’s mom did the talking at the receptionist’s desk.
“My daughter lost her retainer. I’m hoping you have a copy of it we can get.”
“No, I’m sorry. All retainers are custom and we only produce one copy each time.”
“Oh. Then I guess she’ll need to get fitted again. Are lost retainers covered by insurance?”
“Each new retainer is $90. But I think I can get her fitted for a new one right away.”
Norah’s mom gave her daughter a pained looked before replying to the receptionist, “I guess, we don’t have much of a choice. Alright, let’s get her a new one.”
When the new retainer was ready two days later, Norah’s mom said to her, “Don’t tell your dad it cost anything or he’s going to freak out.”
“Okay. I won’t say anything.”
“And don’t lose the new one.”
“I won’t.”
“Because you’re not getting another one.”
After the warning, Norah got serious about her retainer again. It stayed in her mouth except for eating and tooth brushing. But it was hard to be strict with herself when her friends at school where so non-serious about their retainers. Some girls, including Jessa Thompson, would take theirs out for the whole lunch period. Eventually, Norah was doing it too.
At the end of May, Jessa invited Norah and another friend over for a slumber party. They stayed up all night watching movies and making videos of themselves. After eight straight hours of fun, Norah realized her retainer was not in her mouth. After a search of Jessa’s room, Norah’s conclusion was that the retainer had evaporated.
“We looked everywhere,” she told her mom.
“If you looked everywhere, you would have found it. Maybe I should go look.”
“It’s not there. I promise.”
“Looks like you’ll have to explain to your father how you lost another one.”
“No, please don’t tell Dad. He doesn’t have to know. Can’t we get a replacement and keep it a secret?”
“I don’t like keeping secrets from your father.”
“Please? I promise I won’t lose another one. And I’ll clean up my room.”
Norah’s mom was suddenly interested in a deal. “Cleaning your room means no clothes on the floor or under your bed. And they have to be folded, no stuffing them into a drawer.”
Norah spent the rest of the day organizing clothes and vacuuming. A few days and another $90 later, she had another one and was determined not to lose it. Her dad was kept in the dark.
When summer break began, Norah’s biggest worry was staying connected to her friends. She did not want to be left out of any slumber parties, swimming parties, or shopping trips. In late June, she volunteered her parents to drive her and two friends to the community pool. Norah’s mom was not available for a pick up when they were done swimming and her dad showed up instead.
Norah got into the front seat of her dad’s car looking nervous. She held her hand over her mouth as her two friends, Jessa and Sophie, settled in the backseat.
Sophie was famous for her loud mouth and as soon as the car was out of the parking lot, she said, “Are you going to tell your dad about the retainer?”
Norah’s dad looked over at her in almost a panic. “What about the retainer?”
“How we couldn’t find it,” said Sophie.
“It’s not my fault!” cried Norah. “I took it out at the snack bar and someone must have stolen it.”
“Who would steal another person’s retainer?”
“I don’t know, but we looked all over for it.”
“She didn’t want to tell you because of losing the first two and that they cost $90 each,” said Sophie.
Norah’s dad slammed on the brakes after almost rear ending the car in front of him. “What? Ninety dollars? And you’ve now lost three of them?”
“I think it’s better to talk about stuff like this instead of keeping it a secret,” Sophie continued. “Especially since you can’t get too mad at her when Jessa and me are in the car.”
“Yes, thank you very much, Sophie, for being so open and honest,” replied Norah’s dad with a hint of sarcasm.
“See, I told you it was best just to tell him,” Sophie said to Norah.
The rest of the car ride was quiet until Jessa and Sophie were dropped off.
“If you want another retainer, you’ll have to earn the money somehow,” Norah’s dad said to her, suppressing his urge to shout.
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“You’ll have to think of something.”
While Norah was brainstorming ideas for retainer money, her mom took her into the orthodontist’s office for her fourth version of the retainer. She held onto it until the second week of July. Then it magically disappeared during a picnic in the park.
“You’re making it too easy on her,” Norah’s dad said to her mom. “This time I’m taking her back to the orthodontist.”
When Norah and her dad arrived at the office, he rushed over to the reception desk.
“My daughter has already lost four retainers and she still has two or three months until she gets her braces. Is there a way you can glue the retainer in so she can’t take it out?”
“No, I’m sorry,” said the woman at the reception desk. “They don’t work that way.”
“Do you have ways kids could work for the retainers? Maybe clean up the office or something?”
“No, I’m sorry.”
“What if we bought them in bulk? Could we get a discount?”
“No, we don’t do that either.”
“Can’t we at least get two of them so we don’t have to come back? I guarantee she’s going to lose at least one more.”
“I’m sorry. We only make one at a time.”
Norah stood next to her dad during the conversation and turned bright red from the embarrassment. She never wanted him in the office again, so when she got her replacement retainer, she was more careful than ever about keeping track of it. She was successful for the rest of the summer. And then her family made a little vacation trip up to Maine before school started.
On their busiest day in Maine, they visited the beach, a museum, and an antique store. They had lunch and walked to an ice cream shop. Somewhere along the way, the retainer escaped.
“Is it in your pockets? Did you check all of them?” asked Norah’s mom.
“I checked. It’s just gone,” cried Norah.
“Did you take it out for ice cream? How about at the restaurant?” asked her dad.
“I don’t remember,” cried Norah.
The next three hours were spent backtracking and searching under chairs and tables for the retainer. They drove home without it, but on the way Norah’s dad thought up a sure solution.
“How about attaching one of those tags to it?” he announced. “You know a tag that your phone can find. You can put those things on almost anything.”
Norah’s mom shrugged her shoulders. “I guess.”
“I’m going to talk to the orthodontist about this idea,” said Norah’s dad.
Much to Norah’s horror, she was with her dad when he returned to the orthodontist’s office and demanded to speak with Dr. Trapnell.
“My daughter has already lost five retainers but somehow she never loses her phone. If we could use the phone to find the retainer . . .”
Dr. Trapnell nodded. “I can look into it but I’m not sure the tags are compatible with being in a mouth.”
Norah got fitted for another non-traceable retainer. Her dad said it would absolutely be the last one, even if it meant keeping her crooked teeth.
Three weeks later, Norah’s mom wanted to celebrate how Norah had been chosen for the eighth-grade dance and cheer squad. They stopped at a McDonald’s drive-thru for shakes. When they returned home and went inside, Norah realized retainer number six was missing.
Norah’s dad tore apart the car in the ensuing search. He removed the seats and everything in the trunk.
“How would the retainer possibility get in the trunk?” Norah’s mom asked him.
“I can’t explain how any of them disappeared,” he shouted in frustration. “They must be able to go through walls or travel through time.”
Norah and her dad were back in the orthodontist’s office the next day. “Listen Doc, that’s it for the retainers,” said Norah’s dad. “You can put the braces on now or we’ll forget the whole thing.”
Dr. Trapnell looked carefully at Norah’s mouth. “She could really use another month.”
“No way. She could go through four more retainers in a month.”
“Well, I guess we’ll have to say this is close enough. Let’s get you an appointment.”
Three days later, Norah wore her new braces home and smiled so her dad could see.
“You sure they won’t fall off?”
“No more worries,” said Norah’s mom. “They’re definitely attached for good.”
“I never thought her getting braces would actually save us money.”
Norah rolled her eyes and disappeared into her room. She was back a few seconds later holding a McDonald’s cup. “Guess what I found inside! My retainer!”
Norah’s dad let his head fall to his chest.
The next day, a package arrived from Maine. It was from the hotel where they had stayed on their trip. Inside the package was a retainer and a letter explaining how housekeeping had found it and they were sorry it had taken so long to return.
“Another retainer!” cried Norah.
“Now we find them, as soon as their worthless,” said her dad miserably. “I’ll bet two more show up tomorrow.”
Out of morbid curiosity, Norah’s dad visited the lost and found at the community pool. Sure enough, retainer number four was at the bottom of a box, sealed in a clear plastic bag. On the way home, he stopped at the park where retainer three had been lost. He found it under some leaves beneath a park bench.
“I don’t believe it! It’s spooky!” Norah’s dad said to her mom as he dropped the two newly found retainers into a cup with the others.
The phone rang. It was Jessa’s mother. She was cleaning her daughter’s room and found an unfamiliar retainer under the bed.
“Now all we need is one more for the complete set,” said Norah’s dad with sick satisfaction.
Later that week, Norah found retainer number one. She spotted it on the very top of some metal lockers while changing for P.E. She threw it away rather than take it home. She decided her dad was better off believing it was sucked out of the universe.
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