Speed Dating
June 14, 2023 – Orange, California, USA
Rachel and Kassidy practically shared the same cubicle space. As paralegals for their law firm, they assisted with the same cases, and one could take over for the other during leaves and vacations. Kassidy returned that morning from a trip to Bali with her boyfriend and she and Rachel swapped stories comparing a week in paradise to what happened at the office.
“I wish I had someone I could take vacations with,” Rachel said jealously.
“What about Matt? That seemed like it was going somewhere.”
“Hardly. Haven’t you noticed that most of the guys our age are too immature and irresponsible for a relationship?”
“I don’t think Shawn’s that way,” Kassidy answered, defending her boyfriend.
“You got lucky with Shawn. I wish I could find one of the good ones like him.”
“He’s got friends who are like him. I could set you up.”
“I dunno. I hate the awkward phase when you’re first dating. When you don’t know if you’re going to say something offensive or if they have weird habits. I wish I could just fast-forward into a dream relationship where we already knew everything about each other.”
“You have to start somewhere. You know, Shawn has this friend named Michael who’s totally a what-you-see-is-what-you-get person. He won’t be hard to figure out. Totally sincere. No awkwardness.”
“Ummm.”
“C’mon, it would be so cool if you hit it off. We could go do stuff as couples and hang out together. I’m going to text Shawn right now and see what he thinks.”
“Slow down. I’m not ready yet.”
Despite Rachel’s plea for time, Kassidy continued to push the Michael idea. Rachel finally gave in and allowed Kassidy to plan a double date. She gushed about it as if they were going to a high school prom.
“We’ll do something fun and grab dinner. Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll pick you up around 6:30. Oh, I hope this works out so we can do it all the time.”
After work on the big night, Rachel tried on two different outfits. Then she laughed and told herself she should not take the date too seriously. She ended up in a casual pair of ripped jeans and a loose top. She flipped on the TV and mindlessly rolled through channels as she waited. Then she heard honking in the parking lot below her apartment. She peered through her blinds in time to see Kassidy exiting a car and racing up the apartment stairs.
Rachel opened her front door as Kassidy arrived looking embarrassed. “Was that you honking?”
“Since we knew you were waiting for us, the guys thought it would be faster to honk and have you come down.”
“They thought I would respond to a horn?”
“They’re just being funny. Don’t worry about it. C’mon, let’s go have some fun.”
Rachel gave her friend a skeptical look but followed her down the stairs. They walked to a late-model Camry and Rachel recognized Kassidy’s boyfriend, Shawn, sitting in the front passenger seat. Next to him was an okay-looking guy about Shawn’s age.
“They’re both sitting up front?” Rachel asked Kassidy.
“They thought we’d like sitting next to each other. So it’s easier to talk.”
Rachel smiled skeptically again and slid into the backseat behind the driver. He turned his head backward so that Rachel got a good view of his beard and facial profile. Something about him seemed familiar. “Hi Rachel. You look really nice.”
“Rachel, this is Michael,” Kassidy said, gesturing between the two.
“Kassidy told me so much about you. Feels like I’ve known you forever,” Michael said. “I also internet stalked you, so I know all about what you’ve been up to since opening your accounts.”
“What?” Rachel blurted out, shooting a creeped-out look toward Kassidy.
“He’s joking,” Kassidy immediately said in response. “He and Shawn love being funny. Did you two decide where we’re going?”
“I know this go-kart place where they let you go really fast,” Michael replied. “Shawn’s been there, but I don’t think you girls have.”
“Sounds cool,” Kassidy answered enthusiastically. “It’s not dangerous, is it?”
“Nah. You’ll love it,” Michael replied. He started the car, and in another minute, they were entering a freeway onramp for the long drive to the go-kart track.
Rachel recognized the scent of a Febreze air freshener hanging from one of the car’s vents. She had been on that freeway a thousand times and the motion of the traffic all around her felt familiar. She and Kassidy gossiped about people at work and the ongoing controversy involving a reserved parking space at the office. Up front, Michael and Shawn talked about surfing, varieties of sharks, and Bitcoins.
Their destination was a large metal building which looked like a warehouse. The side doors were open, revealing a track outlined by stacks of tires. The building’s walls advertised racing, laser tag, and virtual reality games.
Michael was the first out of the car. He greeted Rachel with a warm smile and said, “I really like it when you wear your hair up that way. I like being able to see your neck and ears.”
“Thanks, I guess,” Rachel replied cautiously.
“And you’re always great at choosing clothes that work for you. Your top matches your eyes and skin really well.”
Rachel squirmed and looked toward Kassidy for reassurance that Michael was not a psycho who had been secretly following her around. Kassidy simply smiled like she thought Michael was being funny again. He sauntered toward the entrance of the warehouse building explaining the track’s turns and how to steer through them if you wanted a fast lap time.
Michael opened the glass entrance door for everyone and said, “First thing we do is sign liability wavers.” He pointed toward the service counter where customers paid for laps around the track. On the counter sat two electronic tablets. “Shawn, you put in the info for you and Kassidy. I’ll do it for Rachel and me.”
Rachel stood next to Michael as he tapped through the questions which appeared on the tablet. The first one asked for her name and address. Michael typed them in. The next screen asked for her phone number and birthday. Again, Michael typed them in, pausing only briefly.
“Wait, how do you know my birthday?” Rachel demanded.
“From Instagram. I like knowing people’s birthdays.”
Michael nonchalantly continued with the electronic forms as Rachel backed away from him with a worried look. As he tried to tell the groups about what racing helmets they should choose, Rachel whispered to Kassidy, “He knows my birthday and where I live. Everything about me. It’s freaky.”
“He pays attention to things. He’s got a good memory. I thought you said you wanted to be with someone who knows all about you.”
“Yeah, after I told him things about me. I don’t want him researching me.”
Kassidy chuckled like it was no big deal. “Maybe you should feel flattered he’s interested.”
Rachel was not sure if she was overreacting. She stayed quiet as Michael teased the group about blowing past them on the track. When they all got in their cars, Rachel assumed Michael would be considerate and patient. Instead, he aggressively bumped and passed her, calling out things like, “Get off the road!” and “Learn to drive!”
“What did you think?” he asked when it was over.
“I didn’t like it very much. You weren’t driving very friendly,” Rachel replied sharply.
“I should have remembered it was your first time. I’m sorry. Let’s do something easier. Like laser tag.”
Everyone agreed that laser tag could be fun. When they entered the staging room to put on their vests and guns, Michael insisted it should be boys versus girls.
“That’s not fair!” Kassidy argued.
“Why not? You should be able to shoot just as well as us. And you’re smaller. You can hide better.”
“Fine. Boys versus girls,” Kassidy replied.
The laser tag arena was dimly lit and most of the time Rachel and Kassidy stayed close together. Michael and Shawn followed them around, relentlessly shooting their vests and taunting them to try and escape.
“I didn’t like that either,” Rachel said when laser tag was over.
“I’m sorry,” Michael called with a laugh. “I forgot you don’t play a lot of laser tag. We could play something else and split into couples instead of boys/girls. They have air hockey tables.”
“I dunno. I’m kind of tired of this place already,” Rachel replied.
“Then let’s go grab some food. I know this place that makes the best street tacos. Totally authentic. Shawn and Kassidy, you up for tacos?”
“I can always go for tacos,” Shawn answered.
“So tacos?” Michael said to Rachel with a playful smile.
“I guess. But it better not be too far away,” she replied.
As they all walked to Michael’s car, Rachel ripped off the paper wristband used to show she had paid for go-kart racing. “Hey don’t throw that away,” Michael said. “You should keep it as a memento.”
She handed the torn wristband to him and said, “You can have it if you want it.”
Rachel and Kassidy sat in the backseat for what turned out to be a long drive to the authentic tacos. Each time Kassidy asked whether they were getting close, Michael claimed they were almost there. When they finally drove into a run-down neighborhood, Michael gestured toward a strip mall. The tacos were being served out of a truck behind the building. The truck’s tires were flat and prices were painted on its rusted side panels. A long line of people waited to place orders.
“I know it looks sketchy, but everyone says they’re amazing,” Michael said, as he found a place to park.
The group joined the line and Michael continued to say, “Just get the street tacos. They’re $2.50 each.” He turned to Rachel. “And I’m paying for you. No arguments.”
They reached the truck and a woman inside asked what they wanted. “Seven street tacos for me,” Michael answered.
“I’ll take three,” Rachel added.
Michael held up his credit card and the woman said, “Only cash.” Michael fumbled around and discovered all he had was a $20 bill. “You have any cash on you?” he asked Rachel. She shook her head.
“I guess we’ll take only eight tacos,” Michael said, handing the woman in the truck his $20.
The tacos came in a brown paper bag. Since there were no tables or chairs around the taco truck, the group stood around the hood of Michael’s car as the tacos were distributed. Michael reached in the bag meant for Rachel and him. He took seven of the tacos and left her one.
“What do you think?” Michael asked between greedy bites.
“Pretty good. I’m not sure they’re worth the drive and eating on the hood of your car,” Kassidy answered. She passed Rachel another taco from the bag Shawn had purchased.
“What else do you guys want to do?” Michael asked. “The night is young and so are we. I’m up for anything as long as it’s not too girly, like dancing or walking on the beach. We could go back to my place and watch a movie.”
“I think I need to get home,” Rachel answered. “I’m pretty tired.”
“Really? You sure?” Michael asked.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Michael acted disappointed but reluctantly agreed to take Rachel home. She and Kassidy sat in the back again, mostly watching the traffic around them. Shawn and Michael droned on up front in uninteresting conversation. Occasionally, Rachel caught bits and phrases. She heard Michael say that he thought the night went pretty well. “Rachel isn’t my dream girl or anything, but she’s okay.”
In the orange glow of the overhead lights of the 5 Freeway, Rachel realized just how much she did not like Michael. It was not because of the strange stalker behavior he showed off at the beginning of the night. Well, maybe that was part of it. It had helped him to somehow accelerate to the “bad boyfriend” phase of a relationship in only a few hours. She had barely met him, yet it felt like they were on the downhill slope of an unsalvageable coupling, which had lasted for months and months. There was only breakup ahead.
Michael left the car running when they reached Rachel’s apartment. He turned his head to say, “Kassidy told me how you don’t like the awkward first date phase. But I already feel so comfortable around you. It’s like we fast-forwarded so that we know what each other is thinking.”
Rachel shrunk in her seat as she looked desperately toward Kassidy for emotional support.
“How about coming over to my parents tomorrow and we can make some longer term plans,” Michael continued.
Rachel reached for the handle and cracked open her door. She swallowed and said, “I don’t know why Kassidy told you that stuff about not liking the first date phase. I love the excitement of getting to know someone new. I love discovering mysteries about them and growing together slowly. If we already feel so comfortable around each other, I won’t get any of the new excitement.”
“Sounds like you’re giving me a breaking up speech,” Michael replied.
They had only met hours before, but somehow Rachel agreed it was easiest to call it a breakup. “Yeah, I think we should see other people. Maybe we’re not right for each other, after all.”
“I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I hope you find happiness, I truly do.”
“Thank you,” Rachel replied. She stepped out of the car and glanced at a stunned Kassidy, who was staring back at her. They would have a lot to talk about at work.
Michael rolled down the window before Rachel could walk away. He held out her broken wristband and said, “Would you like this.”
“You keep it to remember me. But please forget my birthday, okay?”
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