Siri Don’t Take the Wheel
April 21, 2018 – Seattle, Washington, USA
As their plane from Phoenix touched down in Seattle, Amber and Candice pointed out to each other how green everything looked.
“Kind of weird when you’re used to seeing brown everywhere,” said Amber.
“They probably get more rain in one day than Phoenix gets all year,” added Candice.
After parking at the gate, they walked off the plane and were greeted with a big sign that read, “Welcome to SEATAC.”
“SEATAC? What’s SEATAC?” asked Candice. “I thought we were in Seattle.”
Amber pointed to more of the words on the sign. “It must mean Seattle-Tacoma. The airport is probably in between the two cities.”
“SEATAC,” repeated Candice. “Sounds kind of funny.”
The two friends walked to a shuttle bus and rode to the rental car facility. After getting in line at one of the rental car counters, Amber thought it was a good time to remind Candice about the financial arrangement they had agreed upon.
“So I’m putting the car and the hotel on my credit card, right? And you’re paying your half as soon as we get home?”
“Yeah, no problem,” answered Candice.
The friends had made the trip for a coworker’s wedding. They had known Geena for more than a year. They were not important enough for Geena to invite them to be bridesmaids, but Geena did want them at the wedding. She and her fiancée were both from Seattle and it made sense to have the ceremony in their hometown so that family and old friends could attend. Amber and Candice had decided to make the weekend trip together and split some of the costs.
When they reached the rental car counter, they discovered that only Amber would be allowed to drive. Amber turned to Candice and said, “I guess that means you’re the navigator.”
“Yeah, no problem,” Candice said again.
They found their assigned car and after Amber adjusted the seat, she said, “Okay, I can’t look down or I’ll get carsick. You need to keep telling me which way to go.”
“Yeah, I got it, I got it,” said Candice.
“Because I hate driving when I’m in a strange city and having no idea where I am,” added Amber.
“Our hotel’s the Hyatt in Bellevue, right?” replied Candice. Then she said into her phone, “Siri, take us to the Bellevue Hyatt.”
A voice with an Australian accent replied with, “Getting directions to the Hyatt in Bellevue, Washington.”
“What’s with the Australian accent?” asked Amber.
“I dunno. I think it’s kind of cool,” said Candice.
“Head north and then take your first right up ahead,” said the Australian Siri.
“Aren’t you going to check to see where she’s taking us?” asked Amber. “You know, pull up the map so you can visualize it.”
Candice scoffed. “No. Siri’s way better at directions than I am. You can trust her.”
“Yeah, but I kind of like to make sure.”
“You said I was in charge of navigation. Well I say we listen to Siri.”
Amber rolled her eyes, but she moved the car forward and took the first right as Siri had instructed. After several more turns, they were on a crowded freeway, supposedly headed to Bellevue. Amber gripped the steering wheel tightly when she was not adjusting the windshield wipers. A steady drizzle left the road wet and passing trucks kept blinding her view with spray kicked up from their tires.
Candice did not seem to notice the challenging driving conditions. She chattered away about Geena’s bridesmaids and wedding colors. She asked Amber questions but Amber only replied abruptly with, “Uh huh” or “I don’t know”.
“In one mile, take the exit on your right,” the Australian Siri announced.
“What did she say? I couldn’t hear her,” cried Amber.
Candice casually glanced down at her phone. “Take the next exit.”
Amber turned on her blinker and had to squeeze across three lanes of wet traffic. “I wish you could give me more notice,” she grumbled.
“Shall I turn up Siri?” asked Candice.
“I wish you would just look at the map and tell me what’s coming,” said Amber.
Candice ignored her and continued her monologue about how peach should not be used as a wedding color.
After a few more miles, Siri directed them off of the freeway and into what looked like a residential neighborhood.
“This doesn’t look right,” said Amber. “We’re supposed to be in downtown Bellevue surrounded by a bunch of tall buildings.”
After two more turns, Siri announced, “Your destination is on the right.”
They pulled up to a building labeled “Hyatt House” and Candice said, “See, Siri knows what she’s doing.”
Amber did not look convinced. They went inside and discovered that the place did not have a reservation for them.
“You might be at the Hyatt Regency downtown,” said the woman behind the desk.
Candice looked down at her phone. “Oh yeah. The Hyatt Regency. Siri take us to the Hyatt Regency.”
“Calculating directions to the Hyatt Regency,” said Siri.
“I told you to check on where she was taking us,” said Amber as they walked backed to the car.
Despite the diversion, they arrived at the correct hotel with plenty of time to get changed before the wedding. They were on a top floor with a great view of all the high rises and construction sites around the center of Bellevue. Toward the west, they even got cloudy glimpses of Seattle proper.
The church hosting the wedding ceremony was only a short walk away. Amber and Candice found seats among the 200 or so guests and waited for Geena to walk down the center aisle.
“Oh, I like her dress,” Candice whispered when Geena appeared. “A little old-fashioned, but it’s great on her.”
During the ceremony, she and Amber tried to figure out who in the room was related to whom.
“I hope those two guys on the second row are single and sitting by us at the dinner,” whispered Candice.
The reading of vows did not take long and soon everyone filed out of the church and to an Italian restaurant next door called Maggiano’s. The two guys Candice spotted turned out not to be single and did not sit with her and Amber when they reached the Maggiano’s banquet room.
“If I would have realized how close we were going to be to the hotel, I would have brought something I could change into,” said Candice.
“Same here,” said Amber. “But I really like how everything’s within walking distance. I think I want a wedding like that.”
“Not me. I want a limousine driving me around,” said Candice.
The Maggiano’s wedding reception lasted for hours. Waves of appetizers and then main courses kept arriving at tables. Geena and her new husband cut a cake, danced, and listened to speeches from family members. Amber and Candice were mostly bored but they did strike up a conversation with some Seattle natives at their table. The locals shared advice about what the friends should see before they left town.
“I know you’re mainly here for the wedding, but it would be a shame for you not to see more of the city. If you’ve got some time, you’ll probably want to see the harbor and Pike Place Market. Both are real touristy. And people like the Space Needle,” said the woman sitting next to Amber.
“We’ve got a few hours before our flight tomorrow,” Amber replied. “We’ll definitely check them out.”
After the reception wrapped up, Amber and Candice made the short stroll to their hotel in the dark mist outside. They were so exhausted from the travel and wedding excitement that they went right to bed.
The friends slept later than usual the next morning, but since they were both eager to see more of the Seattle area than their hotel room, they were back in their rental car by 10 am.
“That woman said the harbor, right?” said Candice. “How about we start there? Siri, take us to the Seattle Harbor.”
As Siri calculated, Amber contemplated asking Candice to check on where Siri was taking them. Before she could say anything, Siri made some demands and Amber felt obligated to follow them. They were soon back on a freeway and crossing a long bridge. Amber caught glimpses of what looked like the Seattle skyline, but they seemed to be moving away from it. They veered toward an industrial part of the city and spotted giant cranes used for unloading container ships. In front of them stood gigantic oil tanks painted white. Siri announced that they had arrived at Seattle Harbor.
“This can’t be right. This isn’t touristy,” said Amber. “She probably took us to the harbor where big ships unload. You’ve got to be more specific. Say Pike Place Market.”
Candice made a new request and discovered they were 15 minutes away from where they wanted to be. Rather than shouting, “See, you did it again,” Amber calmly said, “Okay, if we’re going to use Siri, from now on let’s be really specific with her.”
When they reached Pike Place Market and the nearby waterfront, it was obviously more suitable for tourists than the oil tank depot they first visited. The two friends parked and then walked around the fish markets. They window shopped and watched fishermen and vendors throw fish around. After deciding they did not have time for the nearby aquarium, they stopped for selfies at the famous gum wall, which was plastered with colorful pieces of used chewing gum.
They returned to their car, intending to drive to the Space Needle. “Okay Siri, take us to the Space Needle,” said Candice. “That’s got to be specific enough, right? There can’t be more than one Space Needle around here.”
“I wouldn’t think so,” said Amber.
Siri plotted the course and in a few minutes they were standing under the massive observation tower.
“We can’t stay too long,” said Amber. “We need time to get to the airport.”
“No problem,” said Candice. “Our flight leaves at 5:00. Siri says it only takes 30 minutes to get there. If we leave by 3:30, we’ll have tons of time to drop off the car, go through security, and walk right on the plane.”
“I don’t know if we should cut it that close,” said Amber.
“Would you rather be sitting in the airport or actually out doing something?”
“Doing something, I guess. But it still makes me nervous.”
“You worry too much.”
They walked around the base of the Space Needle and then took the elevator to the top. As the observation deck rotated, they had great views of the natural and man-made scenery. Amber kept checking the time.
“Maybe we should go. It looks like it’s going to rain and that will slow us down.”
“Alright, but you’re being paranoid,” replied Candice.
They were supposed to be getting an early start for the airport, but a problem with the elevator meant they were not in the car until their original target of 3:30.
“Siri, take us to SEATAC,” said Candice into her phone. She turned to Amber and added, “See, I remembered the name. We can’t get more specific than that.”
Amber had to agree and she followed Siri’s directions out of the downtown area and toward the airport. The rain Amber had warned about began falling and she clung tightly to the steering wheel.
“We can’t have any mistakes,” Amber repeated nervously, with her eyes glued to the road. On the freeway signs, she began seeing the airplane symbol used to indicate a nearby airport. “We’ve got to be getting close,” she said.
“Take the next exit on your right,” said Siri.
Amber looked up. The freeway signs showed that an airport was still several miles ahead. “No, we shouldn’t turn. Siri can’t be right,” cried Amber.
“Listen to Siri,” cried Candice. “She knows. She knows SEATAC. We were specific.”
Amber grimaced in indecision but she swerved to take the exit.
Candice glanced at her phone. “We’re only two minutes away. It’s gotta be close.”
Amber looked around and saw only residential neighborhoods and retail buildings. “How can it be close? I don’t see any planes. Where’s the runway?”
“It’ll be there,” said Candice.
“Turn right and your destination will be on your right,” said Siri.
Amber turned and stared through the windshield at a small, one-story building. On the front of the building hung a sign that read, “Seatac Washington City Hall.”
“Seatac is a city! Siri took us to a city instead of an airport!” cried Amber.
“We saw the signs in the airport. How were we supposed to know it’s a city too?”
“You should have checked, like I’ve been saying since yesterday!”
“Calm down. I’ll just tell Siri to take us to the airport.”
“No! Who knows what airport she’ll take us to. We’ll go back to the freeway and follow the signs.”
Amber quickly flipped the car around and backtracked. She reached a confusing intersection that led to a freeway and got into a northbound lane. Eventually she and Candice realized they were driving in the wrong direction. By the time they turned around and found the airport signs, all of their buffer time was gone. They dropped off the car and waited excruciatingly for the shuttle to the terminals. When they reached the security line with 30 minutes before their flight departure, no one seemed to care that they needed to hurry. Even after a sprint to the gate, the boarding doors for their plane had already closed when they arrived.
Amber doubled over to catch her breath before glaring at Candice.
“It’s not my fault,” cried Candice.
“You were the navigator.”
“They shouldn’t make the name so confusing.”
After sitting another four hours in the airport, they were able to fly standby on another flight to Phoenix. They sat in middle seats, away from each other.
When they finally found Candice’s car outside of the Phoenix airport, she said, “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about Siri. Maybe I need to make a change.”
“Oh, you’re not going to listen to her so much?” asked Amber with some smugness in her voice.
“No, I think I should change her accent. Maybe something plain American instead of the Australian.”
Amber rolled her eyes. “Now we’re back, you need to tell Siri to send me your half of the money for the trip.”
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