Sharma on the Ledge
October 11, 2015 – Santa Cruz, California, USA
“It’s another beautiful day at the Mystery Spot. I hope everyone’s ready to be amazed,” said Sharma Josephs, addressing her small crowd of tour customers. “How many of you are here for the first time?”
All hands went up. This was just the kind of group Sharma liked. First, there was a pair of teenagers, then a young family with two elementary school aged kids, and finally, two older couples. A man from one of the couples was wearing a bright, flowery Hawaiian shirt. He was obviously on vacation.
As for Sharma, she was dressed in the standard Mystery Spot uniform with green pants and a tan button-up shirt. She was meant to look like a ranger in a National Park. Standing at the bottom of the Mystery Spot hill, surrounded by redwood trees, she pulled off the look pretty well. She ran her fingers through her long curly hair and added a rubber band to create a ponytail. Then she asked how the crowd had heard of Mystery Spot.
As usual, most people said they were curious about the yellow Mystery Spot bumper stickers they had seen on cars, motorcycles, and water bottles. That was how Sharma first learned about the place, herself. After leaving Minnesota, she had bounced around Colorado as a ski lift operator and rafting guide. Then she worked zip lines in Texas before heading way west to Santa Cruz.
When Sharma interviewed for the Mystery Spot job, she and the manager sat on the hood of his car and mostly talked about life and the universe. Sharma loved the laid back, chilled atmosphere. The place had lots of guides, so if anyone showed up late or skipped a shift, it was no big deal. Sharma shared a two-bedroom apartment in town with three roommates. She was close enough to the beach to stay interested in surfing and, through a friend of a friend, had joined a band as a backup singer.
“My name’s Sharma and I’ll be leading you into and out of the mind blowing abyss that is Mystery Spot,” Sharma announced to her tour group. “But first tell me your names.”
People introduced themselves but Sharma only paid half attention. She would never remember them. She was terrible with names and only seemed to track the most colorful customers. The one person who stood out in this group was Dan Short, the guy wearing the Hawaiian shirt. He acted oddly excited to share his name and add that he was from somewhere in Massachusetts.
“This place was discovered when a couple of brothers were harvesting trees,” said Sharma, launching into her usual introduction. “When they climbed this hill, they got a funny feeling. The hair stood up on their necks. Their compasses didn’t work. They eventually bought the land and asked scientist after scientist to explain what was going on. The closest explanation they came up with was that this hill was some kind of gravitational and magnetic anomaly. Normal magnetic and gravitational fields are interrupted right here.”
Sharma stopped and asked her tour group how many of them believed her. The two kids and the teenagers raised their hands while everyone else only smiled.
“For all of you skeptics, I want you to try something. Stand on your left leg and pull up your right knee,” said Sharma as she demonstrated. “Do you feel any extra magnetic force? I can feel it, can’t you?”
While most on the tour struggled to hold their knees, Sharma finally let hers drop. “Actually, you weren’t supposed to feel anything because we’re still at the bottom of the hill. But it wasn’t me pulling your leg, you were doing it yourself.”
The adults and teenagers smiled and chuckled at Sharma’s joke. Her current manager, Dave, did not care what she said on the tours, as long as she covered the basics and the customers had a good time. Every guide could show off their own personality.
Sharma’s version of the tour was heavily influenced by a childhood trip to Disneyland and a ride on the Jungle Cruise. She remembered the silly jokes and puns used by the boat captain. She tried her best to imitate him. Guides were allowed to collect tips and Sharma found that the more people laughed, the more they gave her. Her puns were her secret weapon. Older people seemed to especially appreciate them and it was the older folks who had the most money to spend on tips for young, friendly guides.
After hearing Sharma’s “pulling your leg” joke, Dan Short in the Hawaiian shirt perked way up. Something in his brain had been triggered. Before Sharma could continue, he piped up with, “Are you sure we weren’t feeling your magnetic personality?”
Dan looked around at the group for a reaction. A few people chuckled. Others shook their heads. His wife rolled her eyes and said, “No one should encourage him.”
Sharma said, “Nice one, Dan. But I’m in charge of all the jokes from here on out. Okay, up the hill we go.”
Sharma pointed toward a narrow, paved path that zigzagged up the steep hill. She hurried to the front of the group and began hiking at a slow pace while the others followed. About halfway to their next stop, Sharma called out her next standard joke: “I want to elevate your thoughts by the time we get there.”
Most people were too focused on the climb to have much of a reaction, but Dan Short immediately responded with, “My brain is already moving to a higher plane.”
Sharma turned around so she could get a better look at Dan. She continued to walk backwards and could see Dan was staring at her with an eager grin, hoping for some acknowledgment. Sharma gave him what looked like a little sniff and turned back around.
The Mystery Spot tour only consisted of walking up and down a single steep hill, so to make it worthwhile, guides stopped at checkpoints to do some talking and show demonstrations. The “unexplainable” phenomenon surrounding the hill were based on optical illusions. Standing on a steep inclined changed visitors’ perceptions and tricked them into thinking natural laws had changed.
Sharma stopped at the first demonstration area and asked for volunteers of different heights. She purposely avoided Dan Short even though his hand was raised. With her volunteers arranged on a flat slab of wood, she asked the rest of the group who on the slab looked tallest.
“They all look the same,” said the little girl from the family.
Sharma produced a tape measure and showed that the volunteers were all different heights. Then she pulled out a bubble level and placed it on the piece of wood where they were standing. She had one of the volunteers confirm that the level’s bubble was right in its center.
“Hmm. Very strange,” Sharma said. “I’ll level with you, something weird is going on.”
The adults and teenagers, except for Dan Short, chuckled like they were supposed to. Dan’s mind was obviously racing before he blurted out, “Oh yeah? Something doesn’t measure up!”
Sharma looked away. The others groaned slightly.
They moved a bit farther up the hill for the next demonstrations. Another board was set under what looked like a windowsill. The left side of the board appeared to be tilted higher than the right side. Sharma encouraged everyone to take a closer look. There was not a lot of convenient standing room around the board, but eager faces were arranged at different heights and angles until everyone had a decent view.
Sharma pulled a plastic ball from behind the windowsill and it was passed around. “Everyone take a look,” she said. “Make sure it’s not battery powered or a windup toy.”
The ball was passed back to Sharma and she held it above the right side of the board – the side which appeared lower. A groove ran down the center of the board and when Sharma released the ball, it appeared to roll uphill in the groove. Several people muttered, “What?” and “Huh?”
Sharma grabbed the ball and repeated the demonstration twice more before saying, “You are clearly witnessing Mystery Spot’s sphere of influence.”
The older couple, not affiliated with Dan Short, gave Sharma an appreciative smile. The moment was interrupted when Dan called out, “I’d say you were really on a roll.”
Sharma shot him an annoyed glare but he smiled back, happy to have caught her attention.
Sharma put away the ball and pulled out a water bottle. After questioning whether a liquid would behave the same way as a solid, she poured water onto what looked like the lower side of the board. The water ran up the groove and onto the ground. The crowd responded like they were supposed to, letting loose again with, “What?” and “Huh?”
“When it comes to gravity, things are pretty fluid around here,” said Sharma proudly.
“I’d say you’re all wet,” responded Dan Short.
“Hush,” whispered Dan Short’s wife as others groaned. Sharma shot him another nasty look and shook her head. She remained frowning while letting the two little kids pour water up the anti-gravity board.
The centerpiece of the Mystery Spot tour was a ramshackle house built at sharp angles on the slope of the hill. The entrance to the house was surrounded by tall, angled fences that blocked out the view. When visitors saw the floor of the house, their minds automatically associated it with level ground, but in reality it was set at an outrageous angle. The walls of the house were built ninety degrees compared to the floor, so people naturally want to lean one way while gravity was pulling them the other way.
Sharma shook off her annoyance at Dan’s water joke and excitedly led her tour group toward the house’s entrance. She encouraged them to walk and stumble inside to get an even weirder perspective.
The kids and teenagers adapted most quickly to the house’s unnatural angle. They moved quickly through the door and around the house’s central room, stopping to look out the open windows and sit in the chairs, which were secured to the floor. The older visitors clung to the walls and grabbed for anything that might hold them steady.
Sharma walked to what looked like a short wall in the middle of the room. She climbed the wall and stood on a small platform at the end with her arms outstretched. To most viewers, she appeared to be hanging in the air at a 45-degree angle.
“You can try it after me,” called Sharma. “When I’m up here, a certain song plays in my head. Anyone know Come on Eileen?”
Dan Short, who was struggling to stay upright, responded with, “I’m leaning toward not trying that.”
“Oh, make him stop,” one of the teenagers said.
“Please Dan, enough,” Sharma said in a serious, scolding voice.
While the teenagers and kids tried the leaning platform, Sharma moved to a rope hanging at what appeared to be a 45-degree angle compared to the ceiling. She pulled the rope over to a chair, grabbed it tightly, and then leaped with the rope into the air. As she was swinging, she called out, “I went back and forth wondering if I should show you how to do this, but you can try it if you want.”
From his spot against the wall, Dan Short called out, “Looks like you’re just hanging around.”
Both teenagers booed. The other adults, including Dan’s wife groaned. “I said I would handle the jokes, Dan,” Sharma said with disgust.
Everyone walked, crawled, or shimmied out the far side of the house. Seen from the exit side, it was more obvious how it had been built on the slope of the hillside. When the entire tour group had gathered around her and were looking back at the house, Sharma said, “A couple of years ago, we paid a carpenter to fix it, but I think he was crooked.”
A few people giggled. They all held their breath, hoping that Dan would stay quiet. A few seconds passed and it seemed like he was done with his comments. But then he quickly added, “Somebody needs to straighten him out.”
Sharma fought to stay cool and calm. She had asked him to stop. She had told him to stop. He had ruined her fun tour. Did he not have any clue how obnoxious he sounded? She imagined slapping him right across the face. What would he have to say about that?
Sharma’s sour mood rubbed off on the group as they quietly sat or stood, admiring the house. When it seemed like everyone had their fill, Sharma showed them to another path that led downhill. She debated in her mind whether she should skip the farewell she usually used when a tour was wrapping up. She decided she would try for some sympathy tips. When the exit was in sight, she stopped the group before the final steep stretch of paved trail.
“I want to show you one last demonstration before you leave,” said Sharma. She pulled a penny from her pocket. “I went to my piggyback this morning and found my last penny. It’s a shame because coins in my piggybank used to be so penny-full.” Sharma paused but there was little reaction. Her group seemed to be tired of wordplay. “We tour guides like to see how far down the path a penny will go.” Sharma bent down and set the penny rolling along the pavement until it swerved off into the dirt. “As you can see, I’m not rolling in money, so if you liked your tour, I appreciate any extra coins or bill you can donate.”
Dan Short could hardly wait for her to finish. He unloaded with, “Sounds like you’re angling for a tip.”
The dam inside Sharma’s head holding back her rage finally broke. She tried to stop her tongue but it moved on its own. “Dude, what’s your problem? I told you to shut up! Why can’t you shut up? No one wants to hear you!” Sharma forgot the kids were listening when she told him where he could go and what he could do to himself.
Dan Short looked around sheepishly at the other guests on the tour. “When people swore by this tour, I didn’t know that’s what they meant.”
Sharma grew angrier and yelled louder. Her boss, Dave, came running up the pathway.
“Sharma! You can’t yell at people like that! I’m so sorry folks! What happened?”
“It’s him! He did it with his stupid puns!” Sharma shouted, pointing at Dan. “They’re not even good!”
The manager looked confused and continued to apologize. “Sharma, I’m afraid you can’t work here anymore if you can’t stay calm. I’m sorry. We can discuss this when you chill out.”
Sharma growled angrily and then stomped toward the exit.
“Sorry again, folks,” said Dave. “I don’t understand what happened. She’s usually so mellow.”
Dan Short was staring at Sharma before she disappeared. He sighed loudly before sharing his conclusion. “Well, she sure went downhill fast.”
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