Romantic Philosophy
August 25, 2023 – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
Nathan pushed open his apartment mate’s door to find him reading on his bed. “You going to lay around all day reading Socrates?”
“It’s not Socrates,” Jude answered dryly. “But I am going to read all day.”
“C’mon. Classes haven’t even started yet. This is your senior year of college. You’re supposed to have some fun. How about going to a party tonight?”
“No thanks. You know what happens at parties. You ditch me and I end up staring at a wall.”
“It’s close by. If you’re not having fun, you can walk home.”
“Who’s party is it?”
“Some guys I know. They reserved the common room in their complex. We’re supposed to chip in for food and drinks. I’ll cover you if you come.”
Jude let his head drop to his mattress and replied with an unenthusiastic, “I dunno.”
“You might meet someone you like. Maybe the girl of your dreams.”
“Highly unlikely. I’ve realized the odds of meeting anyone at a college party who can appreciate a deep thought are like a million to one.”
Nathan grinned and said, “So you’re saying there’s a chance. Be ready by 8:00.”
Jude moaned and replied, “Fine.”
“And clean yourself up. You don’t want to look homeless.”
“I’m not trying to impress anyone.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’ve said that infinite times before. Next, you’re supposed to say that everyone else is shallow and only into looks. But I’m telling you it can’t hurt to be a little presentable.”
Jude rolled his eyes but was already thinking of what he might wear.
Jude and Nathan had known each other since their first year in school. They randomly ended up in the same dorm room and got along, despite having little in common. They continued to live together after moving to an off-campus apartment. They understood and looked out for each other. That usually meant Nathan pushing Jude toward some kind of social life and Jude nudging Nathan to finish a degree.
As time for the party approached, Jude folded down a page in his interlibrary-loaned book on early modern philosophers. He considered it a warmup for fall classes. His latest obsession was Gottfried Leibniz. While the trivia-minded masses might call it boring, Jude was more than happy to spend a week diving deeply into Leibniz’s arguments. He liked to think only a miniscule number of people were capable of such a feat.
He felt real separation anxiety when putting down his book, but he had committed to Nathan. He showered and shaved off his scraggly facial hair. Then he put on the most formal shirt in his closet – a dark blue, collared, button-down.
“Is this good enough for you?” Jude asked Nathan after walking out of his room.
“Wow. You clean up nice. People are gonna think you’re a business major instead of a philosopher.”
“Ha, ha.”
“I’m serious. The ladies are in for a rare treat.”
Nathan and Jude walked down the dark, tree-lined street, which ran past their apartment. They passed other college students moving boxes from parked cars into rental properties. After a five-minute walk, they reached a large complex of two-story buildings with a single-story common room located near the center. Outside the structure stood a basketball hoop and volleyball net.
From the pounding music pouring out of the common room, Jude already had an idea of what he would find inside. A pseudo-DJ would be set up in one dark corner. A few dozen uninhibited guests would be dancing nearby. There would be a table for drinks and food and some type of drinking game going on – probably beer pong. And without a doubt, clusters of people would be standing around trying to impress one another.
Jude had stood in clusters like that before. Inevitably someone would ask what he was studying. When he answered, “Philosophy,” the automatic response was, “What are you gonna do with that?” He hated what the question implied – that he was wasting his time and should be worried about a career and making money.
There was more to life than money, at least there should be. Leibniz would agree. As Jude pictured himself forced into one of the people clusters, he contemplated pretending to be someone else. If he said he studied architecture, no one would ask why or what he was going to do with it. Or he could temporarily act like the hordes of other people who claimed they were going to be doctors. But would he be able to live with himself? Could he reduce his deep character into something shallow?
Jude followed Nathan inside the common room and found exactly what he expected. He shadowed his friend while they gathered up drinks in a plastic cup and snacks on a paper plate. Nathan fist bumped and shouted at people he knew and then mercifully led Jude outside where the music was not so loud.
Three couches had been pulled out of the common room and someone’s apartment and were arranged in a U shape on a lawn near a lamp post. Nathan sat on one of the couches and began simultaneous conversations with the people around him. Jude sat next to Nathan and concentrated on his food plate. A random assortment of partygoers visited the couches before moving on to other attractions. Nathan thought he saw someone he previously dated and left to say hello. Jude figured he had officially been ditched and began plotting his exit and walk home.
Before Jude stood up, two girls walked over and sat on the couch next to his. One of the girls had straight blonde hair and wore a crop top. From the expression on her face, Jude immediately classified her as insincere and ditzy. The other girl, the one sitting close enough to Jude that their knees almost touched, was entirely different. She had dark, corkscrew curls and an angel face. In the overhead lamp’s golden light, he could not tell if her eyes were light brown or hazel.
She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Jude knew he should not study her so intensely, but he could not help it. She hardly seemed real. He smiled shyly in greeting, but after a nodded acknowledgement, the dark-haired girl continued the conversation with her companion. The words had something to do with finding genuine happiness and your true self. While the message rang true, Jude was more interested in the sound of her voice. It was soothing and meaningful. She could read long lists of food ingredients and Jude would pay to listen.
The blonde girl was less intrigued with what she heard. She stood up and wandered away, much like Nathan did. Finally, the angel girl turned and truly acknowledged Jude.
“Hi. I’m Paris.”
“I’m Jude.” He tried to think of something smart to say but all he came up with was, “Do you live here?”
“No. A block away. I’m new. Here for school. A transfer student.”
“Welcome. I’ve been here a while. I’m a senior.”
“Oh. What are you studying?”
There was the question. Already. Jude could not bear to see distaste in her eyes as he answered, “Philosophy.” He had never sat next to such a perfect person. He could not chase her away.
“Mostly business. Some law, too,” Jude answered.
Paris did not ask, “What are you going to do with that?” but she did look unexpectedly disappointed. “Impressive,” she smoothly replied. “Too bad it’s not something more eclectic. I’m a philosophy major.”
Jude’s mouth popped open, not all the way, but enough to show he was shocked. He desperately wanted to backtrack and say he was only kidding about business, but she had just been talking to the blonde about being genuine. If he claimed to share her major, she would take him for a total fraud. One thing he knew better than to ask, however, was what she was going to do with her degree.
Jude composed himself and said, “That’s interesting. Which philosophers do you identify with?”
Paris seemed surprised by the question. She smiled, let out a tinkling of laughter and said, “I guess I’m digging Leibniz right now. I’m still wrapping my mind around metaphysical status of corporeal substance. I can’t decide if I’d call him a realist or idealist.”
Jude fought hard not to jump out of his skin. The most beautiful looking and sounding creature on earth was talking about Leibniz and all he could do was nod and smile. Curse his own tongue for telling her he cared about business!
“That’s really interesting stuff,” Jude forced himself to say. “I think I’ve heard of Leibniz before. I’d love to learn even more.”
“You would?” Paris answered, sounding uncomfortable. “When I mention philosophy to most people, all they can say is, ‘What are you going to do with that?’”
Jude awkwardly chuckled, bursting to share his own experiences with the question. What if he simply told her the truth? In the best-case scenario, she would laugh it off and they could move forward with a profound discussion. But in the worst-case scenario, she might decide never to speak with him again. He had to suppress the truth.
“I think it’s great you study something you love,” Jude continued. “And I really would like to hear more about Leibniz.”
Paris hesitated. “He had a long career. It’s hard to summarize. Lots of different ideas. Why don’t you tell me something about business?”
“You know, buy low, sell high. Make a lot of money. There’s not much to it. Like you said, it’s not very eclectic.”
At that point in the conversation, Nathan returned. He saw Jude talking with Paris and he grinned like he was replaying his favorite joke inside his head. “Cool, you met someone,” Nathan said to Jude.
For some reason, Paris felt the need to summarize who she was. She looked up at Nathan and said, “I’m Paris. Transfer student. Studying philosophy.”
“No way,” Nathan replied excitedly, pointing between Jude and Paris. “You’ve got the same major. You’ll probably talk all night about that stuff.”
Jude and Paris froze awkwardly as they stared at Nathan. It was hard to distinguish in the lamplight, but both their faces flushed. They glanced sheepishly toward each other.
“You’re a philosophy major? Not business?” Paris asked.
“Sorry. It’s the first time I’ve ever made up something like that. But you know how it is, I was afraid you might ask me the ‘What are you going to do with that?’ question.”
Instead of acting offended, Paris looked embarrassed. “The truth is, I’m not really a philosophy major. I only know a few names and terms. Enough to fool people. I’m still figuring out what I want to be. I use the philosophy thing as a test when I think guys are hitting on me. Kind of a way to find out how shallow they are. You must have thought what I said about Leibniz sounded totally wrong.”
Jude broke into the happiest smile of his life. Paris laughed and smiled the same way.
“You were pretty convincing,” Jude said. “I don’t meet many people willing to say anything about Leibniz.” He shyly fidgeted with his hands before adding, “Do you think you’d like to know a little more? You know, so you could sound even more convincing.”
Paris pursed her lips into the most irresistible grin Jude had ever seen. “I think maybe I would.”
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