Exotic Pet Store
May 4, 2012 – San Manuel, Arizona, USA
The supermarket parking lot had plenty of open spaces when Junie and LaVona Evans arrived in their small pickup truck. Junie hopped out of the cab and onto the warm pavement. Then he urged his little mutt dog to follow him.
“Come on Rudy. Let’s go into the store.”
“You can’t take that dog into the store,” LaVona protested.
“Sure I can.”
“We’ve been coming here for 30 years and I’ve never seen a dog inside.”
“I changed all that last week. I talked to the manager and explained it was inhumane to make a dog wait in the car when it’s hot outside. Now they let you bring your pets in.”
Rudy pattered along behind Junie, who pointed to another customer headed into the store with a dog on a leash. “See, it’s not only me taking in dogs.”
As they walked through the supermarket’s sliding doors, Junie pointed to a sign that was more proof that dogs were acceptable. The sign read, “Well behaved pets are welcome.”
“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” said LaVona.
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, to start with, it seems to be your idea. And you’ve got a pretty long history of starting disasters.”
Jamie waved his hands at her dismissively while she retrieved a shopping cart. When he tried to lift Rudy into the cart, LaVona again protested.
“I don’t want that dog all over our food.”
“Fine. He can tag along next to me.”
As they started down the first aisle of canned goods, they met a mother surrounded by three young kids. One of the kids saw Rudy and instantly called for the dog. Rudy trotted over and was quickly surrounded by kids eager to stroke his back and rub his belly.
“He’s a cute little dog, isn’t he?” called Junie. “He loves attention. You can pet him all you want.”
Junie glanced at LaVona with a satisfied grin to show her having a dog in the store was a great idea after all.
When the kids were done with Rudy, LaVona pushed the cart into the next aisle. Halfway down, between the spices and taco seasoning, they met a roadblock. Another dog owner had a fluffy white poodle in their cart, decorated with pink ribbons. A second set of kids was gathered around the cart and praising the poodle for being so cute. When LaVona squeezed around them and Junie followed, no one seemed to notice Rudy. Junie took offense.
“Rudy doesn’t need ribbons or a fancy haircut,” said Junie. “I guarantee he’s ten times as smart as that puffball back there.”
After another two aisles, Junie and LaVona met a long-haired man with an iguana perched on his shoulder. The man was leaning over to let some teenagers get a closer look at the reptile. Junie definitely noticed when no one paid attention to Rudy.
After passing the iguana man, LaVona pushed the cart into the produce section. Standing next to a stack of potatoes was a mother and her two daughters. Each of the girls was holding a duck. The ducks wore disposable diapers.
LaVona gasped involuntarily and said, “Ducks with diapers?”
“They make wonderful and interesting pets,” said the mother of the two girls. “They wear the diapers so they don’t make a mess. Would you like to hold one?”
“No, I don’t think so. Thank you, though,” replied LaVona.
“It’s like a zoo in here,” LaVona said to Junie after leaving the ducks behind. “It’s ridiculous.”
“I tell you what’s ridiculous, people thinking that ducks and iguanas are interesting pets,” said Junie. He glared at Rudy like the little dog was a disappointment. “Those people are bringing animals in here for the attention, but nothing I’ve seen is too hard to find. You can get an iguana at any old pet store and a duck at a farm. Folks around here wouldn’t know an interesting animal if it jumped up and bit them.”
LaVona stopped pushing the cart and looked suspiciously at her husband. “If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, you should forget it.”
“So what is it you think I’m thinking?”
“That you’re going to do something crazy like bring a wild animal into this store.”
“Me? Now why would I do that?” Junie replied, trying to sound surprised and innocent.
“I find myself wondering that very thing all the time.”
LaVona pushed their cart through the checkout lane and then Junie and Rudy followed her out of the store. The grocery bags were loaded in back of the pickup for the long trip back to their ranch house.
Retrieving food and supplies from San Manuel meant a dusty, bone-rattling drive over hard-packed dirt roads. While Junie steered the pickup, his mind definitely wandered to the subject of attention-getting pets. Living with exotic and dangerous animals was a part of his daily routine on his property, which bordered the San Pedro river in southern Arizona’s Sonoran Desert.
The flat-roofed, adobe ranch house Junie shared with LaVona lay hidden from the road by thick mesquite trees. Junie guided the pickup onto a rough driveway and up to the entrance. As soon as he opened the driver’s side door, a pack of juvenile javelinas swirled around his feet. The animals were native to the arid landscape and Junie loved how their bristly hair and tusks made them look ferocious.
“You came to see your daddy, didn’t you?” Junie called lovingly to the javelinas below him. “Let me see if I have something for you to eat.”
Junie reached toward the grocery bags in back of the truck, but LaVona scolded him. “Don’t you dare give them any food. That’s why they’re always hanging around the house.”
“I like them around the house.”
“Well I don’t. Now get them away from the truck.”
“Mean LaVona doesn’t love you like your daddy does,” Junie called to the javelinas. “She won’t let you have any food. Now which one of you would like to go to the grocery store with me? I can get you all the food you want.”
“Don’t you dare take one of them in that store!”
“I’m only joking around,” Junie said sheepishly to LaVona.
“I’m not so sure. Junie, promise me you won’t take one to the store. I don’t want them permanently banning you from shopping there. Promise me.”
“I can’t promise, but I’ll try real hard.”
Something distracted the javelinas and they ran into a nearby stand of mesquite trees. Junie temporarily forgot about exotic pets and helped carry the groceries into the kitchen.
The next day, after checking on some grazing cows and his crop of hot peppers, Junie felt restless and a little mischievous. He examined the cab of his pickup and wondered if he could fit more than one of the javelinas inside. If they would lie still on the seat and the floorboard, he could manage it. He let his pickup roll far enough away from the house that LaVona would not hear what he was up to. Then he began calling for the javelina pack.
“Here piggy, piggy, piggy!”
Junie knew the javelinas were not actually wild pigs, but with their snouts and hooves, they looked very close. And calling “Piggy, piggy!” sounded better than “Javelina, javelina!”
“Where are you? Here pig! Here piggy!”
No grunts emerged from the surrounding bushes, but what did emerge was a young deer. She had been hanging around the river near the ranch house and Junie had gotten close her by sharing bits of lettuce and vegetables.
“Hello beautiful,” Junie said sweetly to the deer. “You recognize me, don’t you? I think I’ll call you Faline, like Bambi’s girlfriend. You want something to eat, Faline? Stay right here.”
Junie ran back to the house and snuck into the refrigerator. He could not find a bag of carrots so he settled for a bag of celery.
“What are you up to?” called LaVona.
“Nothing!” he called back as he raced out the door.
Junie found the deer nibbling on a bush near his truck. He could not stop himself from trying a little experiment.
“You ever had celery? You’ll like it. Come on. Come get the celery.”
Junie pushed the truck’s passenger door open and held out the celery stalks. The deer was as curious about the celery as Junie was about his experiment. She walked gracefully toward the truck on her long, slender legs. She sniffed and stuck her head into the cab. Then she lifted a leg onto the floorboard.
“That’s it, come on Faline,” said Junie soothingly. “Try the delicious celery. Good girl.”
Before long, Faline was inside the cab, gnawing on the celery with the truck’s door shut behind her.
“How about we go for a ride?” said Junie eagerly. “You just relax. We’ll go find some more celery and carrots for you.”
Junie started up the truck and let it roll forward. At first the deer looked alarmed and kicked against the passenger door. But remarkably, she calmed down and was content to lay on the seat like she was a long-legged dog.
“That’s it. Relax. We’re only going for a little ride,” Junie said calmly. “You’re even a better passenger than Rudy.”
The pickup kicked up a wide trail of dust on the way to San Manuel. Junie drove directly to the supermarket and parked in the open spot closest to the door. When he slipped out of the truck and then slowly opened the passenger door, he was afraid the deer might bolt across the pavement and disappear.
“Now don’t be afraid. We’re going on a little walk. We’ll get some celery and carrots.”
To Junie’s relief and surprise, the little deer hopped out of the truck and stood still as she calmly looked around. When Junie walked toward the supermarket entrance, she followed. By the time they got inside, Junie wore a grin so bright that his fellow shoppers practically needed sunglasses.
“I call her Faline,” Junie announced to two women grabbing shopping carts. “Like from the Bambi movie. Come on Faline, it’s alright.”
The women at the carts stared with open mouths as Faline’s hoofs clicked across the store’s tile floor. The deer stayed close to Junie and was suddenly surrounded by a million new colors, shapes, and smells. Junie strutted straight for a large family pushing a cart loaded with diapers and boxes of cereal.
“You kids ever seen a pet deer before?” Junie asked the elementary-aged kids holding onto the cart.
“No. Can we touch it?” one of the kids asked.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” interjected the child’s mother. “Wild animals like that can carry diseases.” She backed up her cart to get away from the deer.
“Don’t you worry about Faline here. She’s friendly and totally healthy,” said Junie.
“Can we touch her, Mom? Please?” begged the kids holding the cart.
“No, not today,” answered their mother.
“Maybe I’ll see you some other time I’ll have one of my javelinas with me,” called Junie with a satisfied chuckle.
When the family disappeared, Junie continued strutting. When he turned the corner at the end of the aisle, he met a dog owner picking out bags of chips. The man held a miniature Chihuahua in one of his arms.
“Nice pup you’ve got there,” said Junie. “I used to keep a dog around, too, until I switched to deer.”
The man with the chips and Chihuahua was lost for words as he watched the deer slip on the tile floor and struggle to keep her balance.
“Uh, are you supposed to have that thing in here?” the confused dog owner finally asked.
“Why not? All well behaved animals are welcome. And look at her. She’s the sweetest thing.”
The baby deer grew interested in the packages of dried pasta on the nearby shelves. She sniffed at a bag of macaroni with a green label. Then she stuck out her tongue and gave it a lick.
From the end of the aisle, a stocky man wearing a tie began running and waving his arms. “Mr. Evans, what are you doing?” he called. “Did you bring that animal in here?”
Junie recognized the store manager and turned to address him proudly. “I sure did.”
“Is this a baby deer? What are you thinking? You can’t bring an animal like that in here!”
“Why not? The sign outside says all well behaved pets are welcome.”
“The sign says pets, not wild animals.”
“Faline isn’t wild. Just look at her. She’s as tame as any dog or cat.”
The deer had moved from licking the bag of macaroni to nibbling it. Pasta poured out onto the floor from a nibbled hole.
“What do you call that? Do you consider that acceptable behavior?” demanded the manager.
“She’s just curious,” said Junie with a laugh. “You should thank me for bringing her in. People will want to come shopping just to see her.”
Faline licked at the pasta pieces on the floor and then suddenly pooped out a small pile of round deer droppings.
“Now look what she’s done! Who’s going to clean that up?” cried the manager.
“That means she’s happy and comfortable,” said Junie.
“No! That’s it! You’ve gone too far. You’ve ruined it for everyone!”
“What do you mean?”
“No more animals. When you convinced me to put that sign up last week, I assumed we would only see little dogs and cats. I looked the other way with the lizards, chickens and ducks. I didn’t like them, but I looked the other way. But now I see if I give an inch, you people will take a mile. No more animals, period.”
Junie held up his hands like he was being accused of robbing his own house. “This isn’t fair. What if the rule was only pets under two feet tall? Something that looked like a cute little pig?”
“No, no pets at all.”
“What if you made a list of things that were acceptable? Dogs and cats and maybe small birds and rodents.”
“No. I’m changing the sign.”
Junie turned to the man with the Chihuahua who had been watching the scene and said, “This is unbelievable. I guess some people just aren’t animal lovers.”
“And get that deer out of here immediately,” added the manager.
“Come on, Faline,” said Junie. He expected her to follow him when he walked toward the store exit, but she was still interested in the grocery shelves. Junie ended up carrying her back to the car while she struggled. “Calm down. I don’t want to leave either but some people don’t appreciate you like I do,” Junie said to her in a sweet voice. “How about if we go visit the bank and see if they allow pets?”
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