Dandelion Dreams
April 29, 2023 – Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
Sampo Hynynen was mustered from his house by the sound of neighborhood lawnmowers. According to the town natives, the winter had been unusually long. The grass in Sampo’s rectangular yard was doing its best to get growing for spring. Staring at it reminded him of all the outside work he had done the previous year. Some people seemed to enjoy that kind of thing, but not Sampo.
As he stood there in sweatpants and slip-on sandals, Sampo saw Jed wave from two houses down the sidewalk. As far as Sampo could tell, Jed had lived on that street since the squat brick houses were first constructed – so long ago that buffalo were probably roaming the prairies.
Sampo kept one eye on the tire-sized patch of dandelions sprouting near the sidewalk and the other eye on Jed. Once he had Sampo’s attention, the old-timer picked up a shovel and strolled forward. He wore a blue denim shirt. Black suspenders held up his pants and held back his bass-drum stomach. The shovel appeared to be mostly symbolic – letting the world know he was ready for work involving dirt. Jed was obviously retired, with plenty of months to rest up for lawn season. Summer weekends were now his primetime.
“About to get serious with your grass?” Jed asked in a friendly but judgmental tone.
“I guess,” Sampo mumbled in reply. When Jed stopped next to him and leaned on the shovel, Sampo added, “Actually, I’m not all that serious about it.”
“You gotta get the fertilizer treatments on it now if you expect it to look green. What fertilizer are you using?”
Sampo shrugged his shoulders.
“I just put down a spring mixture in my yard and Sharon’s yard. She’s a single mom you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“No one to help her outside so I’m happy to do it.”
“How about helping out on my yard too?” Sampo asked with a laugh.
Jed did not find any humor in the question. “I don’t want to rob you of the satisfaction. Taking care of a lawn is one of the most important things a man can do. Shows he’s strong and responsible.”
Sampo did not like the accusing sound of Jed’s words and how he was equating the condition of his lawn with his manhood. Sampo grimaced and said, “I’m not that big of a grass fan. I think the look of a yard should come down to personal taste.” He glanced at the dandelions near his feet and added, “Haven’t you heard that growing dandelions is the new rage?”
Jed scoffed. “I don’t believe that for a second.”
“It’s true,” Sampo replied in a smarmy voice. “Go check out YouTube or any of your other social media accounts.”
“I don’t watch the YouTube channel.”
“Then you’re missing out. All kinds of people show off their dandelion lawns. Pretty yellow color. Maybe I’ll try it this year. Nice and easy. You just let nature take over.”
“You can’t do that! If you let them go wild, the seeds will get into Sharon’s yard and then mine. Keeping up with your grass is part of the social contract of living in the neighborhood.”
“I never signed any contract. I think after a while you’ll grow to love dandelions. I’m pretty sure you can even eat them. They get a bad rap for no good reason. Time to change your perception.”
Jed did not want to hear anything good about dandelions. He left in a huff and dragged his shovel all the way down the sidewalk.
For the rest of the weekend, Sampo laid on his couch and listened to lawnmowers and trimmers. He daydreamed about a beautiful dandelion carpet covering his front yard. It would be bright and beautifully yellow. When people saw it, they would want one of their own. The idea was sure to catch on and the best thing about it was Mother Nature doing all the work. Last year, dandelions kept showing up no matter how many times Sampo tried to pull them out or poison them. Why continue fighting? Sampo was not sure of a dandelion’s smell, but he could already imagine walking through his dandelion garden and soaking up their fresh fragrance.
Sampo’s dandelion dreams continued over the next weekend as he puttered around the house in his pajamas instead of confronting his yard. He did spend a few minutes turning on his sprinklers, but he cut way back on watering time. He figured dandelions could survive on less water than grass. Another plus for a dandelion garden.
After two weeks of natural growth, Sampo made a quick inspection. To his disappointment, the lawn was not yet a uniform, soft yellow blanket. Many dandelions thrived, but mostly in patches – islands in a sea of neglected grass. Some of the first yellow flowers he had noticed while talking with Jed were now transformed into white puffballs waiting to be disintegrated by the wind. Sampo suddenly questioned whether dandelions were as powerful as he hoped. He turned to the internet for reassurance.
Webpages dedicated to dandelions described how quickly they turned from their yellow flower phase to their puffball seed phase. Flowers might only last for a week, but new ones could keep popping up all summer. And Sampo was right about them being edible. Hundreds of years ago, people ate them like lettuce. It was time they were appreciated again.
Sampo returned to his yard and picked a dandelion stem and some leaves. He nibbled at the stem before spitting it out. Bitter. The leaves were tastier, but he was not ready for an entire dandelion salad. He reached down for some of the puffballs and decided he would help spread seeds evenly over his yard. He spent the next hour blowing fluff around to ensure that spots covered with only grass would soon welcome dandelions.
Spreading seeds felt like a cliff jump. There was no turning back. Instead of ignoring his lawn, he spent time each day inspecting it and searching for signs of dandelion progress.
“Was that one here yesterday?” he muttered to himself, hopeful over every new dandelion shoot. But progress was slow. He probably expected too much of them. Were they supposed to displace all the grass overnight?
Tufts of grass still clung to life despite being neglected. Sampo decided the grass was the problem. He pulled out his lawnmower during the next weekend and attacked the stubborn grass clumps, cutting them as short as possible. This type of targeted mowing was more work than mindlessly pushing the mower in straight lines. Sampo’s back hurt and he was covered in sweat by the time he was done.
Sampo was sure the grass would get the message about not being wanted, but it refused to surrender. During his inspections over the following week, the grass stuck around without making room for more dandelions. Sampo made the difficult decision to get more aggressive. He spent the next Saturday pulling up chunks of grass by the handfuls. Crawling on his hands and knees and yanking roots was exhausting business. He crawled inside and rested his sore back, trying to visualize his future dandelion meadow.
Sampo realized over the next week just how long suffering his grass was. Tiny blades emerged from the dirt. It was time for a new strategy. Sampo turned off his automatic sprinklers and unrolled his garden hose. He carefully dripped water only where dandelions grew, attempting to starve his uncooperative grass.
In the middle of the week, Sampo stood back and made an honest assessment. He had to admit his yard was a mess. The uneven patches of yellow, green, and brown looked like paint and acid had dropped from a helicopter. He also noticed unwelcome weeds covered by spiky leaves. Where was his yellow carpet? He had spent a lot more time on this failed experiment than he had mowing grass the previous year. Why wasn’t Mother Nature helping? Sampo had one last thing to try. He drove to the nearest home and garden center and searched their lawn chemicals aisle. He finally had to ask for help.
“Excuse me. I’m looking for something that will kill everything but dandelions.”
The store employee looked at Sampo like he must be joking. “Sure you are. And I’m looking for a mirror that makes me look fat and ugly.”
“I’m serious. I’m trying to grow dandelions.”
“You must be the only person in the world. I’ve never had anyone want to save dandelions. You’d probably need to hire a chemist to come up with a formula for you.”
Sampo left the store disappointed. He did not touch his front yard for two weeks hoping Mother Nature would finally take care of things without him. He stared at it one Saturday morning when Jed wandered down the sidewalk carrying his shovel. He wore a tan denim shirt and the same black suspenders.
“How’s the dandelion farm working out?”
Sampo scrunched up his face and said, “Not great. You can see for yourself. I’ve got dandelions over here but they won’t grow over there. I’ve tried to kill the grass, but it won’t die. Nature was supposed to take its course and give me nothing but dandelions.”
Jed chuckled to himself. “Mother Nature rarely does what you want. A beautiful lawn is a sheer act of will. It’s work. Nothing happens by accident.”
“That’s the thing. I’ve worked. I’ve worked harder for the dandelions than I ever did for the grass.”
Jed leaned on his shovel and smiled thoughtfully. “I see you’re kind of a maverick. You willing to try another experiment? This one’s guaranteed to give you a beautiful yard without any work.”
“No work? Sure, sign me up.”
“No watering, no mowing, nothing. It’s not for everyone, but I think it might be for you.” Jed leaned over and whispered, “Artificial grass. Practically looks real. I hear it’s the latest thing going around the YouTubes.”
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