Grinch for Christmas
GRINCH FOR CHRISTMAS – December 24, 2024 – Longmont, Colorado, USA
The three Bellafonte sisters sincerely liked everything about each other. If they ever experienced sibling rivalry or jealousy, they did not let it show. When each agreed to get married, one nonnegotiable condition they made of their fiancés was that they live near their sisters and parents in the Denver area. Since the husbands knew what they were getting into, they accepted regular gatherings with the Bellafonte clan as a way of life. That usually meant at least a monthly meal with sisters, husbands, and all their children. There were ten kids in total, ranging from ten-years-old down to one, with almost a perfect one-year gap between them.
The large gatherings with kids were not the only times the Bellafonte sisters saw each other. Most adult date nights involved the three sisters and their husbands converging at some restaurant. At the beginning of December, they all sat in a Red Robin eating hamburgers and steak fries. The conversation turned to unique holiday traditions.
One of the husbands said, “Did you know in Japan, you’re supposed to eat Christmas dinner at KFC? To the Japanese, fried chicken is totally synonymous with Christmas.”
Another one of the husbands added, “I kinda like the Krampus thing they do in Austria where they have this big hairy creature roaming the street scaring the kids.”
One of the sisters condemned the Krampus tradition before saying, “Have you ever heard of people who set up their Christmas trees outside? All of the presents and decorations have to be waterproof to survive the snow. A family on our street does it.”
The oldest of the husbands, Greg (who was married to the oldest sister, Mary) thought unusually hard about the unusual traditions. Greg had more of a restless, independent streak than the rest of the group. Sometimes he silently resented all the time spent with Mary’s family.
“I wish we did something unique for the holidays,” Greg said in a disillusioned voice. “You know, like we had actual traditions we followed.”
Mary was quick to reply. “We have traditions. We always have a tree and hang up stockings.”
“Everyone does that. It’s so basic. I’m talking about doing something different and creative. Not just buying a million presents and watching our kids tear into them without stopping to breathe.”
“What else do you want?”
“I don’t know. But it should be different. And preferably funny.”
Right then, Greg had an idea. It was an awfully clever idea, the kind that came around only once per year.
“You know what would be really funny? If the Grinch showed up.”
“You mean the Grinch from the Dr. Seuss book?”
“Yeah, he comes in and pulls presents right from under the tree. In front of everyone.”
“You can’t be serious. You want someone to come in and take presents away from your kids?”
“They get so many presents they would hardly notice losing one or two. I can see the Grinch now, all dressed in green carrying a sack over his shoulder.” Greg mimicked how the grinch would look slinking into a living room and finding a tree.
The other husbands laughed and added details on what the Grinch might be wearing and what he might say to any kids he met.
“Well, I think it’s a terrible idea!” Mary exclaimed. “Imagine how traumatized you would be if you were five years old and a green monster showed up to take your Christmas presents.”
“I would have thought it was hilarious,” Greg insisted. “And he wouldn’t take all the presents, just one from each person.”
Greg and the other husbands continued imagining the look on family members’ faces when the Grinch showed up. One of them said, “It’s too funny not to try.”
Not wanting to be accused of being dull and stiff by refusing to allow a Grinch visit, Mary came up with an idea of her own that was supposed to make it more humane and respectable. “How about we tell the kids the Grinch is collecting presents to give to poor kids who don’t have anything for Christmas? That way, it won’t seem so mean and they’ll learn about the Christmas spirit?”
“Whatever you want to tell them,” Greg replied. “As long as the Grinch shows up. But it has to be a surprise. No blabbing about it so they know what’s coming.”
There was more discussion about what the Grinch could and could not do, but in the end, Greg felt like he had a green light to go ahead with a Grinch visit.
Greg and Mary happened to own the largest home in the family. That meant they hosted major events that required lots of space, including the annual Christmas party. All kids and adults, including Mary’s parents, would spread out in the house on Christmas Eve. That was when Greg planned for the Grinch to strike.
The obvious choice for the role of the Grinch was Edward, Mary’s little brother. He was much younger than any of his sisters and attended college in a different state. But he would be back home for Christmas. Greg called him to explain the exciting Grinch idea that promised to make the Christmas party less boring. Edward was happy to help and Greg ordered a Grinch costume complete with green tights, a mask, and a Santa hat.
“It’s gonna be a surprise, so I need you to stay out of sight until the right moment.”
“No problem. It’s not like I care about missing anything at the party.”
“Maybe you can change and hide in the garage and I’ll text you when we’re ready.”
“As long as you don’t leave me hanging too long in the cold.”
When Christmas Eve arrived, the entire family showed up in a rambunctious mood. The kids wore matching pajamas and each placed a wrapped present under the tree for the upcoming gift exchange. After a chaotic meal of chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, they attacked half a dozen pies and two gallons worth of ice cream.
Energy levels in the ten kids spiked with the post-dessert sugar rush. They ran around the house playing a loud combination of hide-and-seek and tag. Every so often, the group stopped in front of the Christmas tree and argued about what was inside the wrapped boxes and who would get the best present. The loudest and bossiest voice belonged to ten-year-old Max, who took charge because of his size.
“We should all yell for Santa Claus so he knows we’re here,” Max proclaimed with a cackle. Then he screamed “Santa!” at the top of his lungs.
While most of the adults at the party half-heartedly asked the shrieking kids to be quiet, Greg decided he had heard enough. He stood and called for everyone’s attention.
“We’re starting a new tradition this year that should be fun for everyone. Let’s all get into a big circle and I’m going to read you a story.”
“What story? What story?” Max demanded to know.
“You’ll like it. Just get in the circle and you’ll see.”
Forming a reading circle took longer than Greg imagined because everyone wanted a change in spots and to sit next to one person or another. When they were finally settled, he pulled out “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”
“I’ve read this before,” Max shouted and he was echoed by at least three other children.
“Well, we’re going to read it again,” Greg explained before loudly narrating and holding up the illustrations for everyone in the circle to see. When he finished the story, he said in a mischievous voice, “I hear that someone saw the Grinch walking around our neighborhood. I hope he doesn’t stop at our house.”
One of the children innocently said, “He can stop by. He’s nice now. His heart grew three sizes.”
Greg smiled and said, “I think this is the version of the Grinch before his heart grew. He wants to steal everyone’s presents.”
“Then he better not come here! We want all our presents!” Max shouted.
Mary gave her husband, Greg, a worried look and added, “If he did visit us, I hear that he only takes one present and gives it to poor boys and girls who don’t have a Christmas. Doesn’t that sound nice? I’m sure all of you would be happy to share one of your presents with someone who didn’t have anything.”
As Mary spoke, Greg texted, “Ready for you,” to Edward, who was waiting in the garage, dressed in the Grinch costume. Less than a minute later, Edward crept past a window that was clearly visible from the reading circle.
One of the kids shouted, “I see him! The Grinch! He’s outside!”
In the next few frantic seconds, every kid capable of speaking yelled something about seeing the Grinch. Then Edward let himself in through the front door, carrying a plastic garbage bag. No one made a sound while the shock of seeing the Grinch face-to-face set in. But when Edward tiptoed toward the tree holding open the garbage bag, Max and the oldest kids decided they were not giving up presents without a fight.
Max screamed, “No! Go away!” and lunged toward Edward with windmilling fists. Edward successfully pushed Max aside but was soon met by the nine, eight, and seven-year-old who tried to push him the other way. Max rejoined the fight and landed a punch to the Grinch’s groin. Edward doubled over in pain as he continued to be pummeled by his screaming nieces and nephews.
A less dedicated Grinch would have retreated out the door, but Edward did not care much for Max and wanted revenge for the groin shot. With pain-induced rage, Edward threw off his attackers and hurried for the tree. Greg had told him earlier about empty boxes with a certain type of wrapping paper he was supposed to put in his garbage bag. In the confusion, he grabbed anything he could.
“He’s taking our presents!” Max screamed.
All the kids over five-years-old rallied for a fresh attack. Those under five mostly bawled and ran to their mothers for protection. When the older kids met the Grinch under the tree, it set off a loud wrestling match. Max ended up hurt and crying. The tree toppled over. Above all the noise, Mary shouted, “It’s time or the Grinch to leave! It’s time for the Grinch to leave!”
Edward hobbled out the front door dragging his bag filled with miscellaneous gifts. Every mom held two weeping children while the dads tried not to laugh out loud.
“I think that was fun,” Greg said over the whimpering. “It’s nice to meet new people during the holidays.”
Mary scowled and said, “I don’t think we should ever let the Grinch inside again.”
“Oh, come on. Remember, he’s taking presents to the poor kids. He’s not so bad.”
As the room slowly calmed down, Greg and the other dads smirked toward each other and worked to set the Christmas tree upright. As Greg looked over the damage caused by the mayhem, he noticed that many of the empty boxes he planted as fake presents were smashed. Then he spotted a broken package he had placed near the center of the tree. This was a gift he bought for himself and put “From Santa” on the tag. The amused grin on his face turned to a sour frown.
“On no! This wasn’t supposed to happen!” Greg cried.
“What’s wrong?” his wife called from across the room.
Greg opened up the package to find the pair of Smart Sunglasses inside snapped in two. “These are $400 META AI glasses!”
The anger in Greg’s voice chilled the entire room. No one moved and even the whimpering from the little kids stopped. “I can’t believe this!” Greg continued. “The one thing I wanted for Christmas, ruined. The Grinch thing was a terrible idea. We should have never let him in the house.”
As Greg sat with his head down and holding the pieces of his broken sunglasses, his five-year-old niece, Alice, walked over with wide, sympathetic eyes. She pulled a pair of cheap, plastic sunglasses from the pocket of her pajamas and broke the silence.
“Uncle Greg? You can have my sunglasses if you want.”
Greg looked at the sunglasses and then at Alice’s sincere face. He grinned crookedly and said, “That’s okay, you can keep them.”
“No, you have them. I like sunglasses, but I think you like sunglasses more than me.”
Greg reached for the sunglasses and softly said, “Thank you, Alice. You’re a sweet girl.”
“I’m sorry that naughty Grinch broke your Christmas.”
Greg rolled his eyes over the sappiness of the scene and replied, “Don’t worry. He can’t break Christmas.”
On that day, Greg’s heart grew by 11%. And that was the last the family ever saw of the Grinch.
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